A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock

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1. Перевод слова surplusSurplus — избыток, избыточный, добавочный Перевод слова Surplus commodities — товарные излишки surplus labour — прибавочный труд a surplus in teachers — перепроизводство учителей Any Surplus can be trimmed away. Все лишнее можно отрезать. Pour the Surplus of this liquid immediately away. Немедленно вылей остаток этой жидкости. Surplus cheese distributed to the needy Излишки сыра ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова priestPriest — священник Перевод слова To ordain a priest — посвящать в духовный сан priest’s trappings — внешние атрибуты священника priest brethren — братья в священстве We thanked the Priest for his kind words. Мы поблагодарили священника за теплые слова. A Priest, vested in surplice. Священник, облаченный в стихарь. A Priest has eased me of ... Читать далее...
3. One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stallOne day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating. The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew ... Читать далее...
4. A priest is walking down the street one day whenA priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer ... Читать далее...
5. Before performing a baptism, the priest approachedBefore performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, «Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?» «I think so,» the man replied. «My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.» «I don’t mean ... Читать далее...
6. A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priestA boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest…the grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00. The boy said «Thank you, virgin Father!» The priest replied, «What did you say?» The boy repeated, «Thank ... Читать далее...
7. The priest was preparing a manThe priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, «Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!» The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, «Why do you refuse to ... Читать далее...
8. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueA priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out ... Читать далее...
9. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole outA young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. «Oh,» says the older priest, «give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents.»...
10. An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharingAn Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying «I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, «I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd ... Читать далее...
11. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a trainA Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, «So how high can you advance in your organization?» The Priest says «If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.» «Well, could you get any higher than that?» asks the Rabbi. «I suppose that ... Читать далее...
12. A priest and a lawyer are walking downA priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, «How’d you like to fuck that?» To which the lawyer replied, «Out of what?»...
13. A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a RabbiA Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after ... Читать далее...
14. GIRL’S CONFESSIONGIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. «So me and my cousin were alone in the house,» she continued, «and went up to my bedroom…» «Go on, my child,» said the priest gently. «I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on ... Читать далее...
15. The local priest came across Paddy who hadThe local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. «Paddy,» he said, » I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.» «Really, Father?» slurred Paddy. «What have you done?»...
16. Little Johnny is coming home from the storeLittle Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, «This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.» He walks up to Little Johnny and says, ... Читать далее...
17. Wear your collar backwardsJohnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, «Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?» The priest says, «Because I’m a father.» Johnny says, «Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.» The priest says «You don’t understand, son. I ... Читать далее...
18. Sister Mary burst into the office of the principalSister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. «Father!» she cried, «just WAIT until you hear this!» The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, » Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?» ... Читать далее...
19. Divine RightSeveral years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы at one’s service[at one’s service] {adv. phr.} 1. Ready to serve or help you; prepared to obey your wish or command; subject to your orders. He placed himself completely at the President’s service. «Now I am at your service,» the dentist told the next patient. 2. Available for your use; at your disposal. He put a car ... Читать далее...
21. Camel DiedCamel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither one of them will survive the rest of the journey. The priest asks the nun «I have never seen a woman’s breasts, and ... Читать далее...
22. Love handlesOne day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. «Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,» the genie said. «Since you have released me, ... Читать далее...
23. Falling downThere’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, «If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!» Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова shoulderShoulder — плечо; брать на себя; толкать Перевод слова To shoulder other people’s sins — взваливать на себя чужие грехи shoulder to shoulder — плечом к плечу to shrug one’s shoulders — пожимать плечами to shoulder smb. into the room — втолкнуть кого-л. в комнату Lean against my Shoulder. Прислонись к моему плечу. She carried ... Читать далее...
25. Tommy goes into a confessional box and saysTommy goes into a confessional box and says, «Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.» The Priest says, «Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says «Yes father, it’s me.» The Priest says «Who was the woman you were with?» Tommy says «I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы in commission[in commission] or [into commission] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Onduty or ready to be put on duty by a naval or military service; inactive service. The old battleship has been in commission fortwenty years. It took many months to build the new bomber, and nowit is ready to be put into commission. 2. In ... Читать далее...
27. Pray hardA lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, «Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.» «What do they say?» the priest inquired. «They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?» «That’s obscene!» the priest exclaimed, ... Читать далее...
28. Fire and FirefightersRebecca: Look, there’s Smoke coming from six Stories up. Hugh: Yes, I know. Didn’t you hear the Fire alarm go off upstairs a few minutes ago? Rebecca: No, but I’m really glad there’s a Fire station only a few blocks away. Hey look, there’s the Fire engine. Here come the Firefighters! Hugh: Yeah, let’s get ... Читать далее...
29. Getting a DivorceNicole: I’m really sorry to hear about you and Catherine getting a Divorce. Tom: I appreciate it, but it was A long time coming. We’ve been heading toward divorce for years. I just hope it doesn’t get too Messy. Nicole: I don’t mean To pry, but didn’t the two of you have a Prenup? Tom: ... Читать далее...
30. A catholic lithanyA man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. «A priest. Somebody get me a priest!» the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd—-no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. «A ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы cold shoulder[cold shoulder] {n.}, {informal} Unfriendly treatment of a person, a showing of dislike for a person or of looking down on a person. — Used in the cliches «give the cold shoulder» or «turn a cold shoulder to» or «get the cold shoulder». When Bob asked Mary for a date she gave him the cold ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова processProcess — процесс, течение; обрабатывать Перевод слова The evolutionary process — эволюционный процесс in process of time — с течением времени changes are in process — происходят изменения document-gathering process — процесс сбора документов to process data — обрабатывать данные Computers Process data. Компьютеры обрабатывают данные. Education is a gradual Process. Образование — это постепенный ... Читать далее...
33. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
34. The same thingA married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, «I had an affair with a woman… almost.» The priest says, «what do you mean almost?» The man says, «Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped.» The priest replies, «Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not ... Читать далее...
35. A little old lady buys a pair of parrotsA little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn’t ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы shoulder to shoulder[shoulder to shoulder] {adv. phr.} 1. One beside the other;together. The three boys were shoulder to shoulder all during theworking hours. Compare: SIDE BY SIDE. 2. Each helping the other; inagreement; together. — Often used with «stand». We can win thefight if we all stand shoulder to shoulder. Compare: SEE EYE TO EYE....
37. Getting in an accidentA Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, «So you’re a ... Читать далее...
38. A carpet layer had just finished installing carpetA carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. «No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,» he said to himself. He proceeded to ... Читать далее...
39. A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a ladyA carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. «No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,» he said to himself. He proceeded to get ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова smokeSmoke — дым, дымить, курить Перевод слова To blow smoke rings — пускать кольца дыма to carry off smoke — отводить дым to smoke a cigar — выкурить сигару I prefer not to Smoke. Я предпочитаю не курить. The chimney discharges Smoke. Из трубы идет дым. Cigar Smoke stank up the room. Комната пропахла дымом ... Читать далее...