A man was leaving church one day

Related topics:

1. Three couples wanted to join a churchThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, «We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.» The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the ... Читать далее...
2. On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the doorOn his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. «Would it be right,» he asked, «for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?» «Absolutely not!» replied the pastor. «In that case,» said the young man, «I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid ... Читать далее...
3. On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailyOn the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other — a star of David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked. Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and ... Читать далее...
4. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
5. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherThe congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said «Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.» More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their ... Читать далее...
6. A pastor in Maine skipped services one SundayA pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. the pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and ... Читать далее...
7. The ReverendFrancis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова churchChurch — церковь Перевод слова To consecrate a church — освящать церковь to go into the church — принимать духовный сан as poor as a church mouse — бедный, как церковная мышь The Church burnt to the ground. Церковь сгорела дотла. It sounds like the Church bells. Похоже на перезвон колоколов. The Church is seeking ... Читать далее...
9. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы hand[hand] See: AT HAND, BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ONE, CLEAN HANDS, DIRTY ONE’S HANDS, EAT OUTOF ONE’S HAND, FORCE ONE’S HAND, FREE HAND, FROM HAND TO HAND, GLADHAND, HAM-HANDED, HANG HEAVY or HANG HEAVY ON ONE’S HANDS, HAT INHAND, HAVE A HAND IN, HAVE ... Читать далее...
11. Change my mindThe church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, «I give ten dollars.» Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. «I give a thousand dollars!» The minister said, «Lord, hit him again!»...
12. Перевод идиомы shake hands (with someone) / shake someone’s hand, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: shake hands (with someone) / shake someone’s hand Перевод: пожать кому-либо руку в качестве приветствия Пример: I shook hands with my neighbor when I first met him. Я пожал руку своему соседу, когда встретил его в первый раз....
13. After church on Sunday morning, a young boyAfter church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, «Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. «That’s okay with us,» the mother said, «But what made you decide to be a minister?» «Well,» the boy replied, «I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, ... Читать далее...
14. A fine sermonA man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. «Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.» The preacher says «Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the ... Читать далее...
15. Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandyKnowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration — that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. «Gladly,» responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder ... Читать далее...
16. Подборка фраз со словом «hand»Почти все, что мы делаем, не обходится без помощи рук. И неудивительно, что в любом языке очень много идиом и устойчивых выражений с этим словом. Английский язык, естественно, не стал исключением: 1. to get your hands dirty — заняться грязной работой, замарать руки 2. (get your/keep your) hands off! — руки прочь! 3. to have ... Читать далее...
17. A Change Of VowsDuring the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. «Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова shakeShake — трясти, сотрясать; встряска, толчок Перевод слова A shake of the hands — рукопожатие to shake with cold — дрожать от холода to shake carpets — трясти ковры He Shook his black chevelure. Он тряхнул своей черной шевелюрой. Shake up the medicine before drinking it. Встряхните лекарство перед употреблением. She Shook him to wake ... Читать далее...
19. An old man goes to a church, and is making a confessionAn old man goes to a church, and is making a confession: Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old. Father: When was the last time you made a ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы lay one’s hands on[lay one’s hands on] or [get one’s hands on] {v. phr.} 1. To seizein order to punish or treat roughly. If I ever lay my hands on thatboy he’ll be sorry. Compare: LAY A FINGER ON. 2. To get possessionof. He was unable to lay his hands on a Model T Ford for the schoolplay. ... Читать далее...
21. John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counselingJohn and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling. The pastor gets up and hugs Mary, and sits down. He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and third time, and then turns to John and says, «See that, John. Mary needs that EVERY DAY!» John replies, «Well, that’s fine, Pastor. But I can’t bring ... Читать далее...
22. Build an ArkThe Lord said to Noah, «In six months, I’m going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark.» Six months passed. The skies began to ... Читать далее...
23. A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform beganA few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, «Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?» «No,» said Mrs Finkelstein. «I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?» «A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other ... Читать далее...
24. This businessman was walking down the sidewalkThis businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed the door shut taking off. Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы shake in one’s shoes[shake in one’s shoes] or [shake in one’s boots] {v. phr.},{informal} To be very much afraid. The robber shook in his bootswhen the police knocked on his door....
26. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueA priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out ... Читать далее...
27. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы pull out[pull out] {v. phr.} 1. To withdraw; leave unceremoniously. Thedefeated army hastily pulled out of the occupied territories. 2. Toleave. The train pulled out of Grand CentralStation just as the foreign students got there. 3. To remove byorder; evacuate. Napoleon pulled his beaten troops out of Russia....
29. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Leaving things to the last minute»Margie Марджи Are you free to talk right now? Мы можем сейчас поговорить? Naomi Наоми Listen, you’ve caught me at a bad time. I’m writing an article, and my deadline’s in an hour. Знаешь, сейчас не самое лучшее время. Я пишу статью, и должна сдать ее через час. Margie Марджи You really Like leaving things ... Читать далее...
30. Trapped within a bogPaddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by. «Help!» Paddy shouted, «Oi’m sinkin’!» Don’t worry,» assured Mick. «Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.» Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы poor as a church mouse[poor as a church mouse] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Penniless; broke;extremely poor. The newly arrived boat people were poor as churchmice....
32. Visiting Churches, Mosques, and TemplesCassius: You’ll need To cover up if you want to go in there. This is a House of worship. Brittany: All right, if you say so. I don’t really want to go into this Mosque or Temple or whatever it is. Cassius: Keep your voice down. Can’t you see that there are people at the ... Читать далее...
33. A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouseA driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. «Don’t know,» the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы hand in hand[hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. — Used with «go». Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....
35. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretaryMr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, «Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.» He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was ... Читать далее...
36. Church Holidays — Церковные праздникиChurch holidays are days set aside by the church for celebrating various events from the life of Christ, the Virgin Mary, and the saints. The most important holiday in Russian churches is Easter (Resurrection of Christ). Next is Christmas, followed by Epiphany, Christ’s presentation at the Temple, Annunciation, Christ’s entrance into Jerusalem (Palm Sunday), Ascension ... Читать далее...
37. 4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun ... Читать далее...
38. A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a RabbiA Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after ... Читать далее...
39. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
40. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermonThe minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone ... Читать далее...