A man was being interviewed for a job

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1. I am looking for a job as a consultantJob Applicant: «I’m looking for a job as a consultant.» Employer: «I’m sorry, we already have enough cosultants.» Applicant: «That’s ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.» Employer: «More than we can use already.» Applicant: As he is getting desperate, «I’m not proud, I can do paperwork, I’ll be a clerk, If you ... Читать далее...
2. During the Vietnam warDuring the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. «Didn’t you hear me say that we’re outnumbered 4 to 1 ?» The Marine replied, «I got my four Sir.»...
3. Unique job interviewsJob Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы see service[see service] {v. phr.} 1. To be used over a considerable period oftime. This old camera of mine has already seen six years ofservice. 2. To serve in a military sense. Colonel Hutchins hasseen service in World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and the Persian Gulf....
5. A blonde goes for a job interviewA blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you ... Читать далее...
6. Tribute to the MarinesA tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world. . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less ... Читать далее...
7. Reaching the end of a job interviewReaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, «And what starting salary were you looking for?» The engineer said, «In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.» The interviewer said, «Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова marineMarine — морской Перевод слова Marine engineering — кораблестроение marine boiler — судовой котел marine cable — морской кабель He dishonored the uniform and did not deserve to be a Marine. Он опозорил честь мундира, и недостоин быть в рядах морской пехоты. Marine insurance is governed by a strict series of rules and regulations. Морское ... Читать далее...
9. By definitionA young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt.’s green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say’s, «Why yes I am…you wanna wear my hat?» The boy nods and the ... Читать далее...
10. The ages of manGod created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: ‘To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова dutyDuty — долг, обязательство; вахта, дежурство Перевод слова In bounden duty — по долгу, по чувству долга to collect duty — взимать пошлину moral duty — моральный долг I regard it as my Duty. Я считаю это своим долгом. He’s on night Duty. Он на ночном дежурстве. I promise I will do my Duty. Я ... Читать далее...
12. A dog for a wifeIt was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out «Sir, Good Evening, Sir!» The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы in commission[in commission] or [into commission] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Onduty or ready to be put on duty by a naval or military service; inactive service. The old battleship has been in commission fortwenty years. It took many months to build the new bomber, and nowit is ready to be put into commission. 2. In ... Читать далее...
14. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
15. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiringThe bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants — one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, «Jim ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы out of commission[out of commission] {adj. phr.} 1. Retired from active militaryservice; no longer on active duty. When the war was over, manywarships were placed out of commission. Contrast: IN COMMISSION.2. Not in use or not working; so that it cannot work or be used. The strike put the airline out of commission for a week. Johnwill ... Читать далее...
17. A sailor and a marine are taking a pissA sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова activeActive — активный, живой, деятельный Перевод слова Active competition — оживленная конкуренция become active — активизироваться active life — активная жизнь He leads a full, Active life. Он живет полной насыщенной жизнью. We are Active members of our church. Мы являемся активными членами нашей церкви. A new edition is in Active preparation. Полным ходом идет ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы Vietnam syndrome[Vietnam syndrome] {n.}, {informal} An attitude in governmentcircles that diplomacy may be more effective in solving localpolitical problems in other countries than the use of military force, stemming from the failure of the U. S. military intervention inVietnam. The pundits of Foggy Bottom display the Vietnam syndromethese days when it comes to Iran....
20. FliesA woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. «What are you doing?» She asked. «Hunting Flies» He responded. «Oh. Killing any?» She asked. «Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,» he replied. Intrigued, she asked. «How can you tell?» He responded, «3 were on a beer can, 2 were ... Читать далее...
21. Baby BoomersAfter World War II Americans and Europeans were busy rebuilding their countries and economies. It was a time in which soldiers came home from war camps and went back to their normal lives. In the years that followed many babies were born and the birth rates went up quickly. This generation of people became known ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы on duty[on duty] {adj. phr.} Doing one’s job; supervising. Two soldiersare on duty guarding the gates. There is always one teacher onduty during study hour. Contrast: OFF DUTY....
23. Перевод слова serviceService — обслуживание, сервис, служба, обслуживать Перевод слова Domestic service — домашняя работа, обязанности слуги the consular service — консульская служба to service a car — обслуживать автомобиль I am glad to be of Service. Рад оказать услугу. He did a year’s military Service. Он отслужил в армии один год. I’m getting the bus home ... Читать далее...
24. This dog loves peopleThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы heavy-duty[heavy-duty] {adj.} Made for long or hard use; very strong. Thelumberman used heavy-duty trucks for hauling logs down the mountains. The workers in the steel mill have heavy-duty gloves for handlinghot steel. Mrs. Carlson bought a heavy-duty cleanser to clean hergreasy oven....
26. Значение идиомы at one’s service[at one’s service] {adv. phr.} 1. Ready to serve or help you; prepared to obey your wish or command; subject to your orders. He placed himself completely at the President’s service. «Now I am at your service,» the dentist told the next patient. 2. Available for your use; at your disposal. He put a car ... Читать далее...
27. The new hooker had just finished her first trickThe new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, «Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.» «Well? What did he want to do?» they all asked. She said, «I told him that a ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы off duty[off duty] {adj.} Not supposed to be at work; having free time; notworking. Sailors like to go sight-seeing, when they are off duty ina foreign port. It seems that all the taxis in New York are offduty whenever it rains. — Often used with hyphens, before a noun. The bank robber was captured by an ... Читать далее...
29. Question answer 01Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where ... Читать далее...
30. A business man from New York decided to quit his jobA business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы room service[room service] {n.} Service provided to hotel guests in theirrooms. Also: The hotel workers who give this service. We called forroom service when we wanted ice. Room service will install a TVset in your room upon demand....
32. Значение идиомы double duty[double duty] {n.} Two uses or jobs; two purposes or duties. Matthew does double duty. He’s the janitor in the morning and gardener in the afternoon. Our new washer does double duty; it washes the clothes and also dries them....
33. Lick thatTommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how tough their fathers were. «My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!» said young Harry. «Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men… so lick that!» Tommy said. «That’s nothing!» declared little Johnny. «My dad hasn’t wiped his ass ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы in the line of duty[in the line of duty] {adj. phr.} Done or happening as part of ajob. The policeman was shot in the line of duty. The soldierhad to clean his rifle in the line of duty....
35. Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want adFresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. «I need someone with an accounting degree,» the man said. «But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying ... Читать далее...
36. If men had PMS, what would happen?A) The federal government would allocate funds to study it. b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability. c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days. d) All of the above....
37. A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewingA Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, «For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.» «Well Sir,» the applicant replies, «the work is so much harder when ... Читать далее...
38. Policemen in HeavenSt Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. «Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?» «I was a policeman,» he responded. «What kind of policeman?» St Peter asked. «I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.» «Wonderful my son, ... Читать далее...
39. A dangerous jobThis guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. «Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?» the service guy asks. «Boy,» is the man’s response. «Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there,» says ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы duty bound[duty bound] {adj. phr.} Forced to act by what you believe is right. Abraham Lincoln walked miles once to return a few pennies that he had overcharged a woman because he felt duty bound to do it. John felt duty bound to report that he had broken the window....