A man moves into a nudist colony

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1. Перевод слова colonyColony — колония Перевод слова Artist colony — группа художников colony of termites — колония термитов Crown Colony — британская колония Australia was once a penal Colony. Австралия когда-то была тюремной колонией. Religious dissension threatened to split the Colony. Религиозные распри грозили расколоть колонию. Separate townships have coalesced into a single, sprawling Colony. Разрозненные населенные ... Читать далее...
2. A few questions and answersQ. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? A. After five years your job will still suck. Q. How can you spot ... Читать далее...
3. A husband and wife are on a nudist beachA husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the ... Читать далее...
4. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is bakingA young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says «Look Momma, I’m a white boy.» His mother slaps him hard On the face and says «Boy, go show your Daddy.» The ... Читать далее...
5. Chain Letter Type lIChain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!! (This is where you have to scroll down) Really, go on and make one wish!!! Oh please, s/he’ll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!! Not *that* either, you pervert!! Is your finger getting tired yet? You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!! Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова photoPhoto — фото Перевод слова A close-up photo — фотография крупным планом photo exhibit — фотовыставка photo session — фотосессия Her Photo was prominently displayed on his desk. Ее фотография была хорошо заметна на его письменном столе. You can see the hard core of the group on the Photo. На фотографии вы видите наиболее активных ... Читать далее...
7. Finally, a worthy pyramid scheme!Finally, a worthy pyramid scheme! Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates… INSTRUCTIONS Anaesthetise your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton, (don’t forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and ... Читать далее...
8. Travel in the far eastMueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family. Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы farm out[farm out] {v.} 1. To have another person do for you;send away to be done. Our teacher had too many test papers to read, so she farmed out half of them to a friend. 2. To send away to betaken care of. While Mother was sick, the children were farmed outto relatives. 3. To send ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова grandmotherGrandmother — бабушка Перевод слова To hug one’s grandmother — обнять свою бабушку teach grandmother — яйца курицу не учат; учить старшего; учить ученого great-grandmother — прабабка Grandmother dotes on the twins. Бабушка без ума от близнецов. She was named for her Grandmother. Ее назвали в честь бабушки. Her Grandmother must be pushing 75. Ее ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова motherMother — мама Перевод слова The loss of his mother — смерть матери foster mother — приемная мать single mother — мать-одиночка Mary pictures her Mother. Мэри очень похожа на мать. He misses his Mother. Он скучает по своей матери. Mother sends her love. Мама передает привет....
12. Перевод слова currentCurrent — струя, поток; текущий, современный; электрический ток Перевод слова Current events — текущие события current situation — современное положение to breast the current — идти против течения to carry current — проводить ток My Current status is unemployed. В настоящий момент я безработный. Who is your Current employer? Кто ваш нынешний работодатель? To our ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы go on[go on] {v.} 1a. To continue; not stop. After he was hit by theball, Billy quit pitching and went home, but the game went on. TheTV picture began to jump, and it went on like that until Father turneda knob. I asked Jane a question but she went on reading and didn’tanswer. Mother told Jim ... Читать далее...
14. You know you are in a small townYou know you’re in a small town….. — when you don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where you’re going. — if you’re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you’re the first baby of the year. — if you speak to each dog you pass, by name….. ... Читать далее...
15. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
16. Buying Stamps at the Post OfficeClerk: Can I help you? Tamika: I’d like to buy some Stamps. Clerk: In what Denomination? Tamika: I’m not sure. I need them for sending regular letters and for Priority Mail. Clerk: The current Rate for sending a First-class letter is 41 cents. With first-class service, your letter will get there in three to seven ... Читать далее...
17. There are four basic types of chain letters: IThere are four basic types of chain letters: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chain Letter Type I Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no parents, and no pecker. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass ... Читать далее...
18. The young wife was in tears when she opened the doorThe young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. «I’ve been insulted,» she sobbed. «Your mother insulted me.» «My mother!» he exclaimed. «But she is a hundred miles away.» «I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.» He looked stern, «I see, but where ... Читать далее...
19. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversationTwo men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, «You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter ... Читать далее...
20. A young girl had not been feeling wellA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» the doctor began, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
21. Eye sexA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» said the doctor, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in our colony we practise sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы in half[in half] {adv. phr.} 1. Into two equal parts. The ticket takerat the football game tore the tickets in half. Mother cut theapple in half so each child could have an equal share. Syn.: IN TWO.2. To half the size before; to one half as big. As a punishment, Father cut Bob’s allowance in half....
23. Going crazy with confusionA psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, «How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?» He got the following reply. «Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы first class[first class] {n.} 1. The first rank; the highest class; the bestgroup. The pianist was quite good but he was not in the firstclass. 2. The most expensive or comfortable class of travel; the bestor one of the best groups in which to travel, especially by ship, train, or airplane. Most people can’t afford the ... Читать далее...
25. Chain Letter Type IVAs if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends. Friends — A friend is someone who is always at your side, — A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog, — A friend is someone who likes you ... Читать далее...
26. Best riddles part 3What kind of soda must you not drink? Ответ: Baking soda. —————————————— What part of your body has the most rhythm? Ответ: Your eardrums. —————————————— How does Mother Earth fish? Ответ: With North and South Poles! —————————————— Where is the ocean the deepest? Ответ: On the bottom. —————————————— Where is the best place to see ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы get off[get off] {v.} 1. To come down from or out of. The ladder fell, and Tom couldn’t get off the roof. The bus stopped, the dooropened, and Father got off. 2. To take off. Joe’s mother told himto get his wet clothes off. 3. To get away; leave. Mr. Johnsongoes fishing whenever he can get ... Читать далее...
28. Describing Family RelationsEri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы chain letter[chain letter] {n.} A letter which each person receiving it is asked to copy and send to several others. Most chain letters die out quickly....
30. My FamilyI am Zhilin Andrey. Andrey is my name and Zhilin is my surname. I am seventeen years old. I want to tell you a few words about my family. My family is not large. I have got mother, father and grandmother. There are four of us in the family. First of all some words about ... Читать далее...
31. Collection 12What’s the latest dope — besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don’t believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you ... Читать далее...
32. A talking birdOne man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. ... Читать далее...
33. No children yetMother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now. Daughter: I just don’t know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it’s just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing....
34. Money-mail. Деньги, почта, отправка писем, посылок, размен денегДеньги I’d like to cash this check. Я хочу погасить этот чек. May I see your ID / passport, please? Могу я посмотреть ваше удостоверение / ваш паспорт? What’s the exchange rate? Какой обменный курс? Where can I change my money? Где я могу разменять деньги? I want to send a money-order by mail. Я ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова letterLetter — письмо, буква Перевод слова Initial letter — начальная буква the letter of the law — буква закона business letter — деловое письмо registered letter — заказное письмо I burnt her Letter. Я сжег ее письмо. The Letter’s a flam. Это письмо — подделка. Your Letter of the 15th May has come to hand. ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова picturePicture — картина, рисунок, изображение Перевод слова Picture book — иллюстрированная книга to draw a grim picture — нарисовать мрачную картину famous picture — знаменитая картина She is just a Picture. Она прямо как с картинки. You have Pictured her very vividly. Вы очень живо нарисовали ее. The Picture hung askew. Картина висела криво. Примеры ... Читать далее...
37. Police chief hates youTen Signs The Police Chief Hates You 10. He sends you on drug raids….alone. 9. He refers to you as «Our Little Mascot.» 8. The job description in your contract includes «crash test dummy» and «pepper-spray test subject.» 7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol. 6. He always tells you that ... Читать далее...
38. Letters to a landlordExcerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. ... Читать далее...
39. Giving Birth to TwinsJerome: Congratulations! I just heard that you’re Pregnant with Twins. Paula: Thanks. We’re very excited, although I’m a little worried about a Multiple birth. Jerome: I Come from a long line of multiple births. My father is an Identical twin and he had cousins who are Fraternal twins. Paula: I see what you mean. Jerome: ... Читать далее...
40. Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. «Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.» So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. «Listen up, men,» says the Sergeant. «Johnson, report to the mess hall ... Читать далее...