A man in a state of excessive inebriation

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1. A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the […]...
2. Перевод слова state State – состояние, положение; государственный Перевод слова State service – государственная служба state boundary – государственная граница state of decay – состояние упадка state of war – состояние войны Water exists in three States: liquid, gaseous, and solid. Вода существует в трех состояниях: жидком, газообразном и твердом. What a State you are in! В каком […]...
3. Значение идиомы lie in state [lie in state] {v. phr.} Of a dead person: To lie in a place ofhonor, usually in an open coffin, and be seen by the public beforeburial. When the president died, thousands of people saw his bodylying in state....
4. A state-of-the-art watch A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just […]...
5. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when […]...
6. Bush as a post turtle While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush’s health care reform ideas. The old man said “Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle”. So, not knowing what he […]...
7. Значение идиомы state-of-the-art [state-of-the-art] {adj. phr.} The best and – the latest any fieldof research can offer; modern; the latest; the most advanced. State-of-the-art personal computers may cost a little more than oldermodels, but may be worth the cost for those who need them. Compare:UP TO DATE....
8. Перевод слова prize Prize – приз, награда, премия Перевод слова Give a prize – награждать, вручать приз to receive a prize – получить премию prize poem – стихотворение, удостоенное премии Nobel Prize – Нобелевская премия Fame was the Prize. Наградой была слава. They gave us first Prize. Они вручили нам первый приз. Her book won the Pulitzer Prize. […]...
9. A state trooper pulled a car over A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. “I was only going 40!” the driver protested. “Not according to my radar,” the trooper said. “Yes, I was!” the man shouted back. “No you weren’t!” the trooper said. With that, the […]...
10. Значение идиомы punch-drunk [punch-drunk] {adj.} 1. Dazed or become dulled in the mind frombeing hit in the head. He was a punch-drunk boxer who made hisliving shining shoes. 2. In a foggy state of mind; groggy. Marywas so thrilled at winning the contest she acted punch-drunk. Markwas punch-drunk for a few minutes after he fell off his bicycle....
11. Clearing it A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops […]...
12. Идеальное государство/ Ideal State На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Ideal State Идеальное государство Throughout history, people have always tried to establish an ideal world, where everyone could live in happiness, fairness and equality. Many great philosophers have worked on this question. They tried to find out what the ideal state is. They even created utopian societies for […]...
13. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff […]...
14. Перевод слова drunk Drunk – пьяный, опьяненный Перевод слова Blind drunk – мертвецки пьяный to get drunk – напиться, упиться drunk with success – опьяненный успехом Are you Drunk? Ты что, пьян? He was beastly Drunk. Он напился как скотина. We got Drunk on wine. Мы опьянели от вина. Интересные факты Слово также является 3-й формой неправильного глагола...
15. These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, “You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you.” Joe replied. “Are you crazy?!!” Larry went on to say, “I promise you that it won’t hurt and […]...
16. Перевод слова target Target – цель, мишень Перевод слова Electrons bombard a target – электроны бомбардируют мишень to detect a target – обнаружить цель to identify target – опознавать цель A campaign Targets under-35s. Кампания направлена на людей младше 35 лет. The torpedo hits its Target. Торпеда попадает в цель. The bombs landed dead on Target. Бомбы попали […]...
17. State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test TEST #1 TEST #2 TEST #3 TEST #4 MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot SAR SAR SAR SAR CM Wangs CM BDI’s CMMT Pockets CMEDBD Feet LIB LIB LIB LIB MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice...
18. Arriving home very drunk A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.” The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles […]...
19. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]...
20. I just trying to be helpful A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk “do you live here?” “Yep”. “Would you like me to help you upstairs?” “Yep”. When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked “Is this your floor?” […]...
21. A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit, and slurs, “I […]...
22. A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and […]...
23. State of Arkansas Residency Application State of Arkansas Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister […]...
24. Ending Excessive Spending Raphael: Sorry to be a Buzzkill, but this Gravy train we’ve been on is about to end. Kelly: What do you mean? Raphael: There have been a lot of complaints about our department’s Spending on Extraneous things, and to Quell the masses, the Department head is making some major changes. Kelly: Like what? Raphael: Like […]...
25. Two drunks walk into a bar Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says “I gotta go use the can.” So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and […]...
26. New airbag in Detroit GENERAL MOTORS INTRODUCES NEW INSTANT-WIN AIRBAGS DETROIT – With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all […]...
27. Перевод слова star Star – звезда, звездный Перевод слова Co-star – сниматься в главной роли в одном фильме evening star – вечерняя звезда four-star hotel – четырехзвездочная гостиница Her Star was rising. Ее звезда восходила. The Star captured a comet. Звезда захватила комету. The sky was filled with Stars. Небо было усыпано звездами....
28. Administration in USA. State and Municipal Governments – Государственное управление. Правительство штатов и муниципальное правительство The governments of the 50 states of US have structures closely paralleling those of the federal government. Each state has a governor, a legislature and a judiciary. Each state has its own constitution. State governments have functions, encompassing agriculture and conservation, highway and motor vehicle supervision, public safety and corrections, licensing, business and industry, and […]...
29. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
30. I get so drunk that I imagine things The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. […]...
31. Administration. State and Municipal Governments – Государственное управление. Правительство штатов и муниципальное правительство The governments of the 50 states have structures closely paralleling those of the federal government. Each state has a governor, a legislature and a judiciary. Each state has its own constitution. All state legislatures but one have two houses, Nebraska’s being unicameral. Traditionally, state legislatures have been dominated by rural representatives who may not always […]...
32. There was a drunk man walking down the street turning There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
33. Not a foot An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.” Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack […]...
34. A man had been drinking at the bar for hours A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the […]...
35. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
36. The following statements were found on patient charts The following statements were found on patient’s charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we’re afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.” “Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.” “The skin was moist […]...
37. Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me […]...
38. Значение идиомы flying wedge [flying wedge] {n.}, {informal} 1. An offensive formation infootball in which players link arms and line up to form a “V” with theball carrier in the middle. The flying wedge was so dangerous andhurt so many players that rules have forbidden it for over 50 years. 2. A group who use a “V” formation to […]...
39. California the Golden State – Калифорния Золотой штат California is the most populous state in the United States, and the third largest by land area, after Alaska and Texas. Its nickname is the Golden state and its motto is “Eureka!” which means “I have found it.” Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can surely find it here. More than 200 different languages […]...
40. Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization… Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within […]...