A helping hand
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.”
He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?”
“A hand job”, Harry reply.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE……
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
Related topics:
- Значение идиомы let one’s left hand know what one’s right hand is doing [let one’s left hand know what one’s right hand is doing] {v. phr.}1. To make a show of your kindness or help to others. – Used in thenegative. The Bible tells us not to let the left hand know what theright hand is doing when we give to the poor. 2. {informal} To leteveryone taking […]...
- Рука помощи/ Giving A Helping Hand На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Giving A Helping Hand Рука помощи Helping other people you help yourself. That’s what my grandma used to say when I was little. I remember her wise words and try to help people whenever I can. In fact, when we help people, we feel much better and proud […]...
- Значение идиомы hand in hand [hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. – Used with “go”. Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....
- Перевод идиомы (to be) hand in hand, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: (to be) hand in hand Перевод: держаться за руки Пример: I walked to the movie hand in hand with my girlfriend. Я пошел в кино, держась за руку со своей девушкой....
- Значение идиомы from hand to hand [from hand to hand] {adv. phr.} From one person to another andanother. The box of candy was passed from hand to hand. Janebrought her engagement ring, and it passed from hand to hand until allthe girls had admired it....
- Перевод идиомы go hand in hand, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: go hand in hand Перевод: идти рука об руку, сопутствовать (одно другому) Пример: Math and physics go hand in hand. They’re related subjects. Математика и физика сопутствуют друг другу. Это родственные предметы....
- Перевод идиомы at hand / on hand, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at hand / on hand Перевод: под рукой, рядом, в пределах досягаемости Пример: I stopped working because I did not have any tools at hand. Я перестал работать, потому что под рукой у меня не было инструментов. I do not have any aspirin on hand at the moment. В данный момент у меня под […]...
- A man decided to have a face lift A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think […]...
- Значение идиомы hand-to-hand [hand-to-hand] {adj.} Close to each other; near enough to hit eachother. The result of the battle was decided in hand-to-handcombat. When the police tried to break up the riot, there washand-to-hand fighting with fists, stones, and clubs. Compare:FACE-TO-FACE....
- The Presidential watches A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called “the George Bush Watch” and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says – “you are suppose to read his lips”. He then looks at a watch called the “Ross Perot Watch” […]...
- Значение идиомы hand [hand] See: AT HAND, BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ONE, CLEAN HANDS, DIRTY ONE’S HANDS, EAT OUTOF ONE’S HAND, FORCE ONE’S HAND, FREE HAND, FROM HAND TO HAND, GLADHAND, HAM-HANDED, HANG HEAVY or HANG HEAVY ON ONE’S HANDS, HAT INHAND, HAVE A HAND IN, HAVE […]...
- Перевод идиомы raise a hand against someone or something / lift a hand against someone or something, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: raise a hand against someone or something / lift a hand against someone or something Перевод: поднять руку на кого-либо или что-либо, ударить или пригрозить ударить Пример: If the man raises a hand against his supervisor the police will be called. Если человек поднимет руку на своего менеджера, будет вызвана полиция....
- Значение идиомы in hand [in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your […]...
- The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes.” The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide.” The Milkman – who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back?” The Hairdresser – who asks her “do you want […]...
- Перевод идиомы hand in glove / hand and glove (with someone), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: hand in glove / hand and glove (with someone) Перевод: в тесной связи, заодно Пример: The supervisor and manager work hand in glove to create a positive atmosphere in the company. Руководитель и менеджер работают в тесном контакте друг с другом, чтобы создать позитивную атмосферу в компании....
- A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
- Some very common traits in two drunks A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […]...
- Значение идиомы on hand [on hand] {adv. phr.} 1a. Nearby; within reach. Always have yourdictionary on hand when you study. 1b. Here. Soon school will endand vacation will be on hand. 2. Present. Mr. Blake’s secretary isalways on hand when he appears in public. 3. In your possession;ready. The Girl Scouts have plenty of cookies on hand. Tim hadno […]...
- Buying a chainsaw This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line […]...
- Значение идиомы at hand [at hand] also [at close hand] or [near at hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Easy to reach; nearby. When he writes, he always keeps a dictionary at hand. 2. {formal} Coming soon; almost here. Examinations are past and Commencement Day is at hand....
- Значение идиомы put one’s hand to [put one’s hand to] or [set one’s hand to] or [turn one’s hand to]{v. phr.} To start working at; try to do. Hal does a good job ateverything mat he turns his hand to. After Mr. Sullivan foundfarming unprofitable, he moved to town and turned his hand tocarpentry....
- Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, “How much?” She says, “Twenty bucks.” He says, “All right.” They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s […]...
- Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks “What’s that mum? ” His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, “That’s where your dad accidentially hit me […]...
- A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
- Упражнения на числительные (с ответами) 1. Найдите пары: слова из первого столбика и соответствующие цифры из второго. Н-р: 1 – d Seventy-two a) 31 Thirteen b) 11 Fifty-six c) 660 Eighty d) 72 Eighteen e) 315 Twenty-three f) 100 Eleven g) 13 Ninety h) 49 Twelve i) 925 Twenty j) 18 Nineteen k) 80 Forty-nine l) 504 One hundred m) […]...
- Значение идиомы on one hand [on one hand] {adv. phr.} Looking at a thing in one of two possibleways; from one point of view. – Usually used with “on the other hand”. John wants to be a printer or a teacher; on one hand, printing paysbetter; on the other hand, schools need good teachers....
- Перевод слова reply Reply – ответ, отвечать Перевод слова In reply to your letter – в ответ на ваше письмо to make a reply – ответить, дать ответ reply paid – с оплаченным ответом Reply to the question. Ответь на вопрос. He laughed a Reply. Он ответил со смехом. I’ll Reply by wire. Я отвечу телеграммой....
- Значение идиомы lend a hand [lend a hand] or [give a hand] also [bear a hand] {v. phr.} To givehelp; make yourself useful; help. The stage manager asked some ofthe boys to lend a hand with the scenery. Dick saw a woman with aflat tire and offered to give her a hand with it. Compare: LIFT AFINGER....
- This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop. An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over and says he’ll give her a ride home. On the way he looks her over and says “You’re a pretty good looking old broad. I’ll […]...
- Значение идиомы come to hand [come to hand] {v. phr.} To be received or obtained. Father’s letter was mailed from Florida last week and came to hand today. The new books came to hand today. New information about the boy’s disappearance came to hand yesterday....
- Значение идиомы on the other hand [on the other hand] {adv. phr.} Looking at the other side; fromanother point of view. – Used to introduce an opposite or differentfact or idea. Jim wanted to go to the movies; his wife, on theother hand, wanted to stay home and read. Mr. Harris may stillwant a boy to mow his lawn; on the […]...
- Значение идиомы out of hand [out of hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Out of control. Bobby’s birthdayparty got out of hand and the children were naughty. Small puppiesoften get out of hand. 2. Suddenly, quickly without examination ofpossible truth or merit; without any consideration. – Often used after”dismiss” or “reject”. The senator rejected out of hand thecritics’ call for his resignation. […]...
- Значение идиомы hand in glove [hand in glove] or [hand and glove] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} Veryclose or friendly; working together; in very close agreement orcooperation, especially for bad purposes. The Navy and the CoastGuard work hand and glove, especially in war time. Judges andothers in high office sometimes are hand in glove with gangsters tocheat and steal....
- Значение идиомы hand it to [hand it to] {v. phr.}, {informal} To admit the excellence of; givecredit or praise to. You have to hand it to Jim; he is very carefuland hard-working in all he does. The teacher said, “I hand it toJane for the way she managed the Music Club.” Syn.: TAKE OFF ONE’SHAT TO....
- A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. […]...
- Значение идиомы eat out of one’s hand [eat out of one’s hand] {v. phr.}, {informal} To trust someonefully; believe or obey someone without question. The governor hasthe reporters eating out of his hand. Helen is so pretty andpopular that all the boys eat out of her hand....
- Deserted island golf A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” […]...
- The real treasure An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a […]...
- A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, “how much?” she replies, “$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up.” He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, “it’s my hairdresser’s fee!”...
- Значение идиомы upper hand [upper hand] or [whip hand] {n.} Controlling power; advantage. In the third round the champion got the upper hand over his opponentand knocked him out. The cowboy trained the wild horse so that hefinally got the whip hand and tamed the horse....