A gruesome murder
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?” A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?” “Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.” “What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the hell kind of dog do you have?” “Sir,” answered the little man, “It’s a four week old puppy.” “Bull!” roared the biker, “How could your puppy kill my Doberman?” “It appears that he choked on it, sir.”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Competition of a nation The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog […]...
- Pet owners There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, ‘Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.’ The guy with the Chihuahua says, ‘We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.’ The guy […]...
- Значение идиомы squeak through [squeak through] {v.}, {informal} To be successful but almost fail;win by a small score. Susan squeaked through the historyexamination. The football team squeaked through 7-6. Compare: BYTHE SKIN OF ONE’S TEETH....
- Deadly disease “My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis,” mumbles an angry biker to one of his buddies. “No,” says the friend, “people don’t die of syphilis anymore.” The angry biker replies, “They do when they give it to me!”...
- Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her […]...
- Перевод слова nervous Nervous – нервный Перевод слова Nervous exhaustion – нервное истощение nervous giggle – нервный смех nervous disorder – нервное расстройство the higher nervous system – высшая нервная деятельность Don’t be Nervous. Не волнуйтесь. It was a very Nervous situation. Обстановка была очень нервной. Sit back, there’s no need to be Nervous. Расслабься, беспокоиться не о […]...
- A gruesome discovery A girl was intrigued at the kilt that a Scottsman was wearing, wondering what he would be wearing underneath. “What’s underneath your kilt?”, she asked him. “Why don’t you take a look”, he replied. Curiosity overcomming her, she lifted the kilt. then let it go,”Oh, it’s gruesome!” “Well, why don’t you take another look, it […]...
- Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
- A guy is stranded on an island with only a A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There’s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he’s doing alright–but after a few months he gets “lonely”, if you know what I mean. The pig starts to look more and more attractive–soft, pink flesh, […]...
- Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]...
- Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
- Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
- Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
- On preparing to return home from an out of town trip On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About […]...
- Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
- PUPPY LOVE A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being […]...
- Значение идиомы puppy love [puppy love] also [calf love] {n.}, {informal} The first love ofvery young people. When John and Mary began going around togetherin junior high school, their parents said it was just puppy love....
- Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
- Burger conversations M. I. T.: “I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Caltech: “I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.” “Have some fries.” Brown: “I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.” “Cool! Me too! Have some fries.” Swarthmore: “I […]...
- Значение идиомы get away with murder [get away with murder] {v. phr.}, {informal} To do something verybad without being caught or punished. John is scolded if he is latewith his homework, but Robert gets away with murder. Mrs. Smithlets her children get away with murder....
- True love Three men were drinking at a bar – a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday, I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me […]...
- Back in the good ole days in Texas Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady. The city slicker kept eyeing […]...
- Перевод слова murder Murder – убийство Перевод слова To break a murder case – распутать дело об убийстве charge of murder – обвинение в убийстве deliberate murder – преднамеренное убийство to discover a murder weapon – обнаружить орудие убийства He was on trial for Murder. Его судили за убийство. The rush hour traffic is Murder. Ездить на машине […]...
- Warning labels If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major […]...
- Значение идиомы scream bloody murder [scream bloody murder] {v. phr.}, {informal} To yell or protest asstrongly as one can. When the thief grabbed her purse, the womanscreamed bloody murder. When the city doubled property taxes, homeowners screamed bloody murder....
- Перевод идиомы get away with murder, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get away with murder Идиома: get away with murder разг. Перевод: сойти с рук; сделать что-либо очень плохое и не быть пойманным и наказанным за это Пример: The students were able to get away with murder while the substitute teacher was in the school. Ученикам все сходило с рук, пока в школе был подменяющий […]...
- Pick Heaven or Hell One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have […]...
- A police officer came upon a terrible wreck A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at […]...
- Значение идиомы to hell with [to hell with] or [the hell with] {prep. phr.}, {informal} Used toexpress disgusted rejection of something. It’s slop; the hell withwhat the cook calls it. Compare: FED UP, GIVE A HANG....
- A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. “Now, […]...
- Значение идиомы like hell [like hell] {adv.}, {slang}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} 1. With greatvigor. As soon as they saw the cops, they ran like hell. 2.{interj.} Not so; untrue; indicates the speaker’s lack of belief inwhat he heard. Like hell you’re gonna bring me my dough!...
- Значение идиомы Nervous Nellie [Nervous Nellie] {n.}, {informal} A timid person who lacksdetermination and courage. I say we will never win if we don’t stopbeing Nervous Nellies!...
- Значение идиомы go through hell and high water [go through hell and high water] {v. phr.}, {informal} To gothrough danger, or trouble. John is ready to go through hell andhigh water to help his chum. The soldiers went through hell andhigh water to capture the fort. Compare: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, THROUGH THE MILL....
- A peculiar dress Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people’s home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren’t getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom’s room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, “Did you see that? What in the […]...
- A city boy was visiting the country and A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy […]...
- Значение идиомы kill off [kill off] {v.} To kill or end completely; destroy. The factorydumped poisonous wastes into the river and killed off the fish. The president suggested a new law to Congress but many members ofCongress were against the idea and they killed it off. Mother madeNancy practice her dancing an hour every day; Nancy got tired ofdancing […]...
- Перевод идиомы until hell freezes over, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: until hell freezes over Идиома: until hell freezes over разг. Перевод: навсегда, навечно Пример: He said that he would not talk to his girlfriend again until hell freezes over. Он сказал, что больше никогда в жизни не заговорит со своей девушкой....
- Значение идиомы until hell freezes over [until hell freezes over] {adv. phr.}, {slang} Forever, for aneternity. He can argue until hell freezes over; nobody will believehim. Contrast: WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
- Значение идиомы when hell freezes over [when hell freezes over] {adv. phr.}, {slang} Never. I’llbelieve you when hell freezes over. Contrast: UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER....
- Значение идиомы hell and high water [hell and high water] {n. phr.} Troubles or difficulties of anykind. After John’s father died he went through hell and high water, but he managed to keep the family together. Compare: COME HELL ORHIGH WATER....