A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when

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1. This fellow dies and goes to heavenThis fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: «Why are girls so pretty?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls soft?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls so dumb?» God: «So they’ll like you.»...
2. Guy goes to hell and is met by the devilGuy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room ... Читать далее...
3. Punishment in hellA man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, «Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.» ... Читать далее...
4. Henry Ford dies and goes to heavenHenry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Ford, «Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.» Ford thinks about it and says, «I wanna ... Читать далее...
5. Fidel dies and goes to heavenFidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself ... Читать далее...
6. Trust a fellow officerA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer ... Читать далее...
7. Значение идиомы hell[hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
8. Pope DiesPope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon ... Читать далее...
9. This fellow comes to confessionThis fellow comes to confession. «Father, he said, forgive me for I have sinned.» The priest asked, «What did you do, my son?» «I lusted,» the fellow replied. «Tell me about it,» the priest said. The fellow then related his story. «Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in ... Читать далее...
10. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heavenA pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: «You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова fellowFellow — человек, парень, тип; товарищ, собрат Перевод слова A fellow can’t work all day long — не может же человек работать весь день jolly fellow — веселый малый fellows at school — товарищи по школе Oh, isn’t he a duck of a Fellow? Не правда ли, он просто прелесть? A tight Fellow! Хороший парень! ... Читать далее...
12. Capitalist and Socialist HellA young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, «What ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова hellHell — ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell — превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell — переносить муки ада oh hell! — черт возьми! hell of a way — чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы a hell of[a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise ... Читать далее...
15. A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desertA fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle — Whooee da Whoee! — but doesn’t know what it is. Predictably, he’s ... Читать далее...
16. Fly, baby, fly!A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building… he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: «why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?» The blond answers in a very ... Читать далее...
17. Nature of HellA thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.» Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when ... Читать далее...
18. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
19. Pick Heaven or HellOne day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. «Welcome to Heaven,» said St. Peter. «Before you get settled in though, it seems we have ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы to hell with[to hell with] or [the hell with] {prep. phr.}, {informal} Used toexpress disgusted rejection of something. It’s slop; the hell withwhat the cook calls it. Compare: FED UP, GIVE A HANG....
21. Значение идиомы like hell[like hell] {adv.}, {slang}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} 1. With greatvigor. As soon as they saw the cops, they ran like hell. 2.{interj.} Not so; untrue; indicates the speaker’s lack of belief inwhat he heard. Like hell you’re gonna bring me my dough!...
22. A fellow was following a truck in heavy trafficA fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to ... Читать далее...
23. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
24. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with himA fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. «Your organ,» she ... Читать далее...
25. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
26. 51 DAYS51 DAYS A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы go through hell and high water[go through hell and high water] {v. phr.}, {informal} To gothrough danger, or trouble. John is ready to go through hell andhigh water to help his chum. The soldiers went through hell andhigh water to capture the fort. Compare: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, THROUGH THE MILL....
28. Значение идиомы hail-fellow-well-met[hail-fellow-well-met ] {adj. phr.} Talking easily and in afriendly way to everyone you meet. John won the election as classpresident because he was hail-fellow-well-met....
29. Значение идиомы when hell freezes over[when hell freezes over] {adv. phr.}, {slang} Never. I’llbelieve you when hell freezes over. Contrast: UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER....
30. Значение идиомы until hell freezes over[until hell freezes over] {adv. phr.}, {slang} Forever, for aneternity. He can argue until hell freezes over; nobody will believehim. Contrast: WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
31. Значение идиомы hell and high water[hell and high water] {n. phr.} Troubles or difficulties of anykind. After John’s father died he went through hell and high water, but he managed to keep the family together. Compare: COME HELL ORHIGH WATER....
32. Значение идиомы fellow traveller[fellow traveller] {n.} A sympathizer with a political movement whodoes not officially belong to the political party in question. ManyGermans after World War II were innocently accused of being fellowtravellers of Nazism. During the McCarthy era, many Americans wereaccused of being Communist fellow travellers....
33. Try to explain womenA man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. «Sure,» GOD says, «Go right ahead». «OK,» the man says. «Why did you make women so pretty?» GOD says, «So you would like them.» «OK,» the guy says. «But how come you ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод идиомы until hell freezes over, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: until hell freezes over Идиома: until hell freezes over разг. Перевод: навсегда, навечно Пример: He said that he would not talk to his girlfriend again until hell freezes over. Он сказал, что больше никогда в жизни не заговорит со своей девушкой....
35. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranchCowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. «When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,» Joe began. «You mean the parking lot,» interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. «I walked up the trail to the door,» Joe ... Читать далее...
36. Пословица / поговорка he who lives by the sword dies by the sword — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: he who lives by the sword dies by the sword Перевод: кто живет с мечом, тот и умрет от меча Пример: The young man was involved in selling illegal drugs and he was found murdered. Sadly, he who lives by the sword dies by the sword. Молодой человек занимался продажей наркотиков, и ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод идиомы raise hell, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: raise hell Идиома: raise hell Перевод: шумно пировать, праздновать, кутить Пример: A group of kids were raising hell in the street. Группа детей шумно веселилась на улице....
38. Значение идиомы hell-on-wheels[hell-on-wheels] {n.}, {slang} A short-tempered, nagging, or crabbyperson especially one who makes another unhappy by constantlycriticizing him even when he has done nothing wrong. Finnegancomplains that his wife is hell on wheels; he is considering getting adivorce....
39. Перевод идиомы all hell breaks loose, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: all hell breaks loose Идиома: all hell breaks loose разг. Перевод: начинается полный хаос; все летит ко всем чертям Пример: When the fire alarm sounded, all hell broke loose. Когда прозвучала пожарная сигнализация, начался полный хаос....
40. Значение идиомы come hell or high water[come hell or high water] {adv. phr.}, {informal} No matter what happens; whatever may come. Grandfather said he would go to the fair, come hell or high water. Compare: COME WHAT MAY, THROUGH THE MILL....