A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers

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1. I’ll use my Seeing Eye DogA blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite ... Читать далее...
2. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condomA man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова tiredTired — усталый, утомленный, исчерпанный Перевод слова Tired face — утомленное лицо a tired joke — избитый анекдот tired apple — сморщенное яблоко old, tired dress — старое, изношенное платье She was Tired and sleepy. Она очень устала, и ей очень хотелось спать. I’m Tired. Let’s go home. Я устал. Давайте пойдем домой. I was ... Читать далее...
4. Music in Our LifeТопик Музыка в нашей жизни рассказывает о том, как важна музыка. Музыка сопровождает нас с детства, и она повсюду: дома, в концертном зале, в парке, у моря, в лесу и даже на улице. Это искусство, которое отражает жизнь, ведь музыка отражает эмоции людей. Мы все имеем разное отношение к музыке: одни сочиняют музыку, другие ее ... Читать далее...
5. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrotA guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. «This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.» the clerk said. «Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?» «This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.» «And the other?» said the customer. ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы dead tired[dead tired] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Very tired; exhausted; worn out. She was dead tired at the end of the day’s work. Compare: DEAD ON ONE’S FEET....
7. Значение идиомы sick and tired[sick and tired] {adj.} 1. Feeling strong dislike for somethingrepeated or continued too long; exasperated; annoyed. Jane was sickand tired of always having to wait for Bill, so when he didn’t arriveon time she left without him. John is sick and tired of having hisstudies interrupted. I’ve been studying all day, and I’m sick andtired ... Читать далее...
8. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the PhoneClerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back ... Читать далее...
9. Speaking to a Store Clerk on the PhoneClerk: Hello. Levin’s Music. Ariel: Hello. I was wondering if you Carry classical CD’s. Clerk: Yes, we have a pretty large Selection. What are you looking for? Ariel: I’m trying to find the Latest Reunion Island Ensemble CD. Clerk: I’m not sure we have that In stock. We have a lot of CD’s on Back ... Читать далее...
10. Two AA batteriesWoman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, «Come this way,» and heads towards the back of the store. «If I could come that way,» she tells the retreating clerk, «I wouldn’t need the batteries.»...
11. Shoe shoppingA man walks into a shoe store… …and tries on a pair of shoes. «How do they feel?» asks the sales clerk. «Well… they feel a bit tight.» replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. «Try pulling the tongue out.» offers the clerk. ... Читать далее...
12. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
13. Music is my lifeI love music, I think people can not live without it. The first thing I do in the morning I switch on my tape — recorder. We can hear music everywhere: in the streets, in the shops, on TV, over the radio, in the cars, in the parks, everywhere. I think it’s really doesn’t matter ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод идиомы dead tired, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: dead tired Перевод: очень уставший; вымотанный Пример: I was dead tired so I went to bed when I got home. Я жутко устал, так что я сразу лег спать, как пришел домой....
15. Значение идиомы play by ear[play by ear] {v. phr.} 1. To play a musical instrument byremembering the tune, not by reading music. Mary does not know howto read music. She plays the piano by ear. Joe doesn’t need anymusic sheets when he plays his guitar; he knows many songs well andcan play them by ear. 2. {informal} To decide ... Читать далее...
16. Wolfgang MozartВ топике Вольфганг Моцарт кратко описывается жизнь и творческая деятельность одного из самых известных и ярких композиторов 18-го столетия. Жизнь Вольфганга Амадея Моцарта была действительно удивительной. Начав играть в 4 года, Моцарт впоследствии создал много изысканных музыкальных сочинений, любимых почитателями его музыки и по сей день. Wolfgang Mozart is a famous Austrian composer. Mozart was ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод идиомы dog tired, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: dog tired Перевод: усталый, как собака; очень усталый, вымотанный Пример: Janis was dog tired after the series. She played every game. После соревнований Дженис была усталой, как собака. Она сыграла в каждой игре....
18. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
19. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) PlayerClerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small ... Читать далее...
20. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) PlayerClerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы sick and tired of someone or something, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: sick and tired of someone or something Перевод: не любить что-либо или кого-либо; сильно устать от кого-либо или чего-либо Пример: I am sick and tired of my friend’s constant complaining. Мне жутко надоело постоянное нытье моего друга....
22. Значение идиомы canned music[canned music] {n.} Recorded music, as opposed to music played live. «Let us go to a real concert, honey,» Mike said. «I am tired of all this canned music we’ve been listening to.»...
23. Slight confusionOne night a police officer named Mike was working the grave-yard shift and he drove to his house around 3 A. M. in the morning. He opened the door to the bedroom quietly and took off his clothes in the dark, and got in bed with his wife. Then she said,»Honey, can you go over ... Читать далее...
24. A department storeA really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, «W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?» The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: «W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?» Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times: ... Читать далее...
25. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, oneThree guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He ... Читать далее...
26. Thank you..thank you very much!Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the ... Читать далее...
27. The Video RentalA blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn’t done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something ... Читать далее...
28. Isaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen whoIsaac and Hymie were two tired Brooklyn businessmen who were ordered to take a Caribbean cruise by their doctors. The second night out on the way to Martinique they were leaning against the rail, looking at the big bright tropical moon on the sea, really starting to unwind. Suddenly the rail broke and both Jews ... Читать далее...
29. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart — Вольфганг Амадей Моцарт (1)Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1) Wolfgang Mozart is a famous Austrian composer, Mozart was born in 1756 in Salchburg, Austria. His father, a violinist and a composer, noticed wonderful talent of his son and taught him how to play musical instruments and to compose. Being 4 years old Mozart played the clavier. When he was 5 ... Читать далее...
30. Get me something cheapAfter being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. «How about some perfume?» he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. «That’s a bit much,» said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. «Thats ... Читать далее...
31. A life-long city man, tired of the rat raceA life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a ... Читать далее...
32. I saw a pen in a store the other dayI saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, «It’s made in Germany». I said, «That’s too bad, I can’t use it then». The clerk said, «What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?» I ... Читать далее...
33. Main Vice PresidentTom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, «Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!». «Really?» ... Читать далее...
34. I wrote it!There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, «I’ve never seen you in her before.» The guy says, «Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing ... Читать далее...
35. Please show the I. DThe following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the ... Читать далее...
36. A bar nameA guy walks into a store and says to the managaer «why doesn’t your store have a name», the store manager says «I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.» The guy says «Jenny» then the store owner says «What’s do you like most about Jenny» ... Читать далее...
37. Buying SouvenirsI was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not ... Читать далее...
38. Buying SouvenirsI was vacationing in Miami, Florida, and I went into a Souvenir store to get some gifts for friends back home. Lydia: Could you show me where the T-shirts Are? Clerk: Sure, they’re on the left, along the wall. Can I help you find something? Lydia: I’d like to get a T-shirt, but I’m not ... Читать далее...
39. The Presidential watchesA man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called «the George Bush Watch» and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says — «you are suppose to read his lips». He then looks at a watch called the «Ross Perot Watch» ... Читать далее...
40. Ways to PayI was at the store, and when the clerk finished Ringing me up, I had a few problems. Clerk: Your total comes to $79.42. Peter: Do you take Credit cards? Clerk: Yes, we take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express. Peter: Here’s my Visa. Clerk: Hmm…I’m sorry but your card has been Declined. Peter: Oh, I ... Читать далее...