A customer walks into a restaurant and notices

Related topics:

1. A waitress walks up to one of her tables inA waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She yells, «What the hell do you guys think you are doing?» One of the Japanese men explains, «Can’t you see? We are all berry hungry.» The waitress ... Читать далее...
2. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
3. A panda bear walks into a restaurantA panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying ... Читать далее...
4. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
5. A customer walks into a pharmacyA customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he ... Читать далее...
6. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is toldA man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre’d that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. «Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?», he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, «What’ll it be?» The man replies, «Give me a Stoli with ... Читать далее...
7. A Restaurant Drive-ThruI had a little time between appointments and stopped at a fast food restaurant to get some lunch. The idea was To save time by using the drive-thru, but it didn’t work out that way. Order-taker: Welcome to McDenny’s. May I take your order? Daniel: Yes. I’d like a Cheeseburger, an order of French fries, ... Читать далее...
8. A customer sent an order to a distributorA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, «We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.» The next day ... Читать далее...
9. This guy walks in to a bathroomThis guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a sign that says «put your dick in here, we’ll do what your wife does for you». So the guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it....
10. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова customerCustomer — покупатель, клиент Перевод слова Customer service — служба работы с покупателями at customer’s discretion — на усмотрение заказчика potential customer — потенциальный клиент She is one of our best Customers. Она является одним из наших лучших клиентов. Poor Customer service has ruined the company’s reputation. Плохое обслуживание клиентов погубило репутацию компании. The Customer ... Читать далее...
12. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditchA man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, «You know, you ... Читать далее...
13. A man walks into a bar and orders two drinksA man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what’s going on. «Why are you pouring that drink on your hand»? ... Читать далее...
14. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtleThere once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when ... Читать далее...
15. A man walks into a pubThe following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, «cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! — I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.» The man takes his whiskey and downs it. «Same again?» asks the barman. «Okay» ... Читать далее...
16. Пословица / поговорка customer is always right — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: customer is always right Перевод: клиент всегда прав Пример: The sales clerks were trained that the customer is always right and they must never argue with a customer. Продавцов учили, что клиент всегда прав, и что они никогда не должны спорить с клиентом....
17. A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in AmsterdamA Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,»So, what does this cost??!!». And the hooker replies,»25 dollars!!». And the Pollock said,»Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated windows!!»....
18. A manager of a restaurant had called its ownerA manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. «She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,» said the manager. «All right, so hire her,» the owner replied.»But, sir…» «I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова restaurantRestaurant — ресторан Перевод слова Buffet restaurant — ресторанчик, работающий по системе «шведский стол» decent restaurant — приличный ресторан to dine at a restaurant — обедать в ресторане We had dinner at a local Restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. That Restaurant was a real find! Тот ресторан был настоящей находкой! The Restaurant opened earlier ... Читать далее...
20. Kind of awkwardA guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to fix some drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking at it, ... Читать далее...
21. Nice, but roughAn elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach. A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak. «Oh, thank you!» said the elephant. «My, pleasure ma’am.» said the ... Читать далее...
22. A guy walks into a bar and sits down next toA guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over ... Читать далее...
23. Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the barmanProstitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi’s and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks ... Читать далее...
24. A fellow in a bar notices a womanA fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. «No thank you,» she said politely.» «This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.» «That ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы cool customer[cool customer] {n.} Someone who is calm and in total control of himself; someone showing little emotion. Jim never gets too excited about anything; he is a cool customer....
26. Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunchBill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, «Are you ready to order?» Clinton replies, «Yes, I’d like a quickie.» «A quickie?!?» the waitress replies. «Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is ... Читать далее...
27. A man stops by a diner at noonA man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and ... Читать далее...
28. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Между продавцом и покупателем (Between The Seller And The Customer)»По-английски Перевод на русский Seller: Good afternoon! May I help you? Продавец: Добрый день! Могу я Вам чем-нибудь помочь? Customer: Yes, please. I’m looking for a warm jacket of dark colour. Do you have one? Покупатель: Да, пожалуйста. Я ищу теплую куртку темного цвета. У вас есть такая? Seller: We certainly do. Come this way, ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова waitressWaitress — официантка, служанка Перевод слова Ring for a waitress — звонком подозвать официантку Eventually, Mary got a job as a Waitress. В конце концов, Мэри устроилась официанткой. The Waitress freshened our coffee. Официантка долила нам кофе. Let’s order dessert when the Waitress comes back. Когда официантка вернется, давайте закажем десерт....
30. Making a Restaurant ReservationHostess: Thank you for calling Sakia Restaurant. How may I help you? Randy: I’d like to make a Reservation. Hostess: For which day and for what time? Randy: It’s for Friday, the 24th, at 7 o’clock. Hostess: How many will be in the party? Randy: There will be seven of us. Hostess: And the name ... Читать далее...
31. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrotA guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. «This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.» the clerk said. «Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?» «This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.» «And the other?» said the customer. ... Читать далее...
32. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
33. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
34. A small boy walks into his mothers roomA small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless. «Mummy, mummy, what are these?» he says, pointing to her breasts. «Well, son,» she says, «these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.» Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two ... Читать далее...
35. Dining at a Restaurant II (Fast)I love coming to this Italian restaurant. The appetizers and desserts are To die for. When the waiter came to our table To take our order, my friend ordered a lobster ravioli dish, and I ordered my favorite, lasagna. The waiter then asked us, «Would you like a Soup or salad with that?» My friend ... Читать далее...
36. NoticeTo make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы take-out order[take-out order] {n. phr.} An order in a restaurant that one doesnot eat on the premises, but takes home. The new Chinese restauranton the corner sells nice take-out orders....
38. Spain JokesSpanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. «These, senor,» replied the waiter in broken English, «are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today.» The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the ... Читать далее...
39. I got a great Polish jokeA guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, «Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…» The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: «Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of ... Читать далее...
40. Refrigerate elephantsAnalysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig. 2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant). 3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem. Number theory: 1. First factorize, second multiply. 2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in. Algebra: 1. Step 1. Show that the ... Читать далее...