A city boy was visiting the country and

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1. Titicons Titicons (.)(.) tiny tits (o) (o) regular tits ( O )( O ) big tits ( @ ) ( @ ) big harry tits ( ‘ ) ( ‘ ) perky tits {.} {.} shriveled tits ( , ) ( , ) drippy tits [ _ ] [ _ ] android tits ( # ) […]...
2. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
3. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
4. The Zen Master is visiting New York City The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.” The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box […]...
5. Country and City – Деревня или город People are always wondering whether the country or the city is the ideal place to live. If there is one preference-which I take leave to make a conclusion-then it is the country rather than the city that provides people with optimal living conditions. There widespread testimonies for it and the primary ones are listed as […]...
6. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
7. A ventriloquist was driving in the country A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he’d have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the […]...
8. A wise choice The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: “At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?” Farmer: “That’s right.” Attorney: “Well, then, how is it […]...
9. Значение идиомы kill off [kill off] {v.} To kill or end completely; destroy. The factorydumped poisonous wastes into the river and killed off the fish. The president suggested a new law to Congress but many members ofCongress were against the idea and they killed it off. Mother madeNancy practice her dancing an hour every day; Nancy got tired ofdancing […]...
10. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
11. Перевод слова kill Kill – убивать, убийство Перевод слова Strychnine kills rats – стрихнином травят крыс tuberculosis killed him – он умер от туберкулеза to go in for the kill – выходить на охоту to kill with intent – совершить умышленное убийство It nearly Killed me. Я чуть не умер со смеху. The lion made the Kill. Лев […]...
12. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
13. A peasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree”, sighed the pheasant, “but I haven”t got the energy”. Well, why don”t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They”re packed with nutrients”. The pheasant pecked at […]...
14. These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home […]...
15. Excerpts from the rural life A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire.” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens….look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, […]...
16. Перевод слова city City – город, большой город Перевод слова To live in the city – жить в городе capital city – столица free city – вольный город in the core of the city – в самом сердце города City life is not for me. Городская жизнь не для меня. The City was dimmed-out. Улицы в городе были […]...
17. On a cross-country bus trip On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due to motion sickness. She make her way to the restroom, only to find it locked. She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right and threw up on […]...
18. Three mice are sitting in a bar talking Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]...
19. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
20. Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here. OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red […]...
21. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
22. A small dissapointment Two GI’s in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. “I can’t go in here” he says” It’s really going to stink” “There’s another trench over there” says the other. “I’ll cover you with the M60…. just give me a shout and and i’ll cover […]...
23. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. […]...
24. City & Guilds Centre in My Town – Центр City & Guilds в моем городе City & Guilds is one of the oldest and very well known British Examination Board and works about 130 years. It offers more than 500 qualifications exams. City & Guilds certificates are recognized in many countries around the world. In Stary Oskol City & Guilds centre has started in April 2005 and since that over […]...
25. Country-Side Nature has always been a favourite theme for poets. Storms and adventures on the sea have inspired them to write stirring verses. Great forests have led them to write solemn songs. Mountains and valleys, hills and meadows, too, have given them inspiration. And, indeed, can you find anyone who would not be thrilled by the […]...
26. Перевод слова farmer Farmer – фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer – скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer – колхозник truck farmer – огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу […]...
27. Briefly about City & Guilds – Кратко о City & Guilds Examination City & Guilds is based in 1878. The organization is under protection Royal family of the Great Britain and is one of the leading commissions of the Europe. From the beginning tested only Englishmen, them estimated on 400 qualifications. However now this examination was recognized with 100 countries of the world, examined test on […]...
28. A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, “I’m Eddie, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?” No. The second beau came to the door and said, “I’m Joe, I’m here to pick […]...
29. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
30. Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to […]...
31. Get some of this Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get’s her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: “This is too good to pass up,” gets off his […]...
32. Three guys are discussing women Three guys are discussing women. “I like to watch a woman’s tits best,” the first guy says. The second says “I like to look at a woman’s ass.” He asks the third guy “What about you?”. “Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.”...
33. City & Guilds для нас – City & Guilds for us English is a worldwide language. Nowadays knowing of English is very important aspect to get a good job in Russia. Knowledge of English gives you additional chance to find a well-paid job in the time of crisis. But it`s impossible to know the quality of English without a special certificate. That`s why more and more […]...
34. Значение идиомы inner city [inner city] {n.}, {colloquial} Densely populated neighborhoods inlarge metropolitan areas inhabited by low income families usually ofminority backgrounds, such as Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, or AfricanAmericans; characterized by slums and government-owned high rises. Joe comes from the inner city – he may need help with his reading....
35. Значение идиомы put an end to [put an end to] or [put a stop to] {v. phr.} 1. To make end; stop; end. The farmer built an electric fence around his fieldto put an end to trespassing. The principal said that running inthe halls was dangerous, and told the teachers to put a stop to it. 2. To destroy or kill. […]...
36. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
37. UPDATE: Another Major U. S. City Has Made It Mandatory For Pet Stores To Only Sell Rescues Lawmakers in Beverly Hills are following Phoenix, Arizona’s lead. It is now illegal for pet stores in Beverly Hills to sell dogs and cats that are not from a shelter or rescue. Beverly Hills council member Lili Bosse told the Huffington Post: “I am the biggest animal lover and feel strongly about giving them a […]...
38. Значение идиомы sweep the city [sweep the city] or [country] or [nation] or [world] {v. phr.} Togain great attention or popularity throughout the city, country, etc. Pavarotti’s unmatched tenor voice swept the world in anunprecedented manner....
39. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
40. A gruesome murder A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?” A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked […]...