With best intentions
As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn, etc. The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified “No dogs.” Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever).All went well for months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area. One day, the father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit. He immediately went to the landlord and complained. The landlord threatened to kick Chuck out. But Chuck, being quite persuasive – and punctual with rent checks – convinced the landlord to keep him and his dog. On the condition that that Chuck keep his dog out of the garden area. Months went by with no incidence. However,
Related topics:
- Fluffy died This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow […]...
- Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
- Allergic to Cats When I was little, we had a family pet. His name was Jupiter and he was a Kitten. I wanted a cat more than anything else and finally, my parents Gave in and said that we could have one. We went to the Pound and saw dozens of cats of different Breeds. We went from […]...
- Save the dead rabbit A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
- The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They […]...
- Try to catch the rabbit The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants […]...
- Paying Rent “That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told a neighbor. “You didn’t do it, did you?” “I have to admit I did – though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the […]...
- Перевод слова landlord Landlord – домовладелец, помещик, арендодатель Перевод слова Slum landlord – владелец трущобы landlord class – помещики agricultural landlord – землевладелец The Landlord says your rent is late. Хозяин квартиры говорит, что ты задолжал. Housing associations are the biggest Landlords in this area. Жилищные ассоциации – самые крупные арендодатели в этом районе. The Landlord hiked up […]...
- Перевод слова rabbit Rabbit – кролик Перевод слова Rabbit hole – кроличья нора rabbit hutch – клетка для кроликов domestic rabbit – домашний кролик jack rabbit – американский заяц We bagged a Rabbit. Мы засунули в мешок кролика. The kids are building a Rabbit run. Дети строят норку для кролика. Keep still, or you’ll frighten the Rabbit away. […]...
- Just cut your hair first A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O. K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months […]...
- Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his neighbor, “Ray, may I borrow your axe?” “Not today,” Ray replied, “I have to make soup.” “What kind of excuse it that?!” demanded Joe. “Well,” confessed Ray, “I admit its a lousy excuse. But, if I don’t want to loan you my axe, one excuse is as good […]...
- Перевод слова cage Cage – клетка, будка Перевод слова Cage for birds – клетка для птиц cargo cage – шахтная грузовая клеть a cashier’s cage – будка кассира The lion was released from its Cage. Лев был выпущен из клетки. This bird should be Caged in. Эту птицу следует держать в клетке. They dragged the reluctant animal into […]...
- Rabbits Ph. D. Thesis Rabbit’s Ph. D. Thesis: A Parable for Graduate Students Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: “What are you working on?” Rabbit: “My thesis.” Fox: “Hmmm. What’s it about?” Rabbit: “Oh, I’m […]...
- The Plumber has arrived A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s […]...
- Food quotes and quips Food quotes, quips, and thoughts. . . “Artichokes… are just plain annoying… After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.” – Miss Piggy “The most remarkable thing about my […]...
- Missing person Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is […]...
- A circumcision Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from school. Danny says “I won’t be going to school tomorrow.” “Why not?” asks Joey. “I have to go to the hospital,” says Danny woefully. “That’s awful,” says Joey. “Why do you have to go there? Are you sick?” Danny shakes his head and […]...
- A historical example A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair […]...
- After the fall in Garden of Eden After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”...
- I will put it into your ass In one day animal’s king lion said: You must get me the circle fruit and I will put it to your ass! Who will not bring it I will kill him! A rabbit has come first! He has brought to lion an apple. When lion put apple into rabbit’s ass rabbit was smiling. Lion surprised […]...
- A horse and a rabbit A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes […]...
- The company president called the chief security guard The company president called the chief security guard into his office. “Chuck, we’ve received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don’t belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop.” Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sir. I […]...
- Working in the garden A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! […]...
- Over my dead body! A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, “Over my dead body!” He downed his drink and replied, “Well, I see you haven’t changed one little bit.”...
- Paying an Unexpected Visit Lorraine: Hi, this is a surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure? Terrance: Can’t I just Drop in on my little sister Unannounced to see how she is? I was just in this Neck of the woods and thought I would Pay you a visit. Lorraine: Sure you were. Of course, I’m glad to […]...
- A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
- Talking About Time Juanita: What time is it? Chuck: It’s A quarter to 12. Why? Juanita: At Noon, on the dot, I’m supposed to meet James. Chuck: On the dot? What if you don’t get there until a few minutes Past four? Will you turn into a pumpkin? Juanita: Knock it off. I have good reason to be […]...
- What and who am I A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given […]...
- An old lady lived by herself in a small house An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he […]...
- A wild party Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace […]...
- Guns in a garden An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. “For Heavens SAKES, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!! At […]...
- Jokes about Dumb Irishmen The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. […]...
- Значение идиомы search one’s heart [search one’s heart] or [search one’s soul] {v. phr.}, {formal} Tostudy your reasons and acts; try to discover if you have been fair andhonest. The teacher searched his heart trying to decide if he hadbeen unfair in failing Tom. – [heart-searching] or [soul-searching]{n.} or {adj.} After much heart-searching, Jean told Beth she wassorry for the […]...
- Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball Cinderella was all set to go to the huge ball, but she was having a severe case of PMS. She was crabby and pissy and moody and generally not in the partying spirit. Well, her fairy-godmother again came to her rescue by providing Cinderella with a magic tampon. The fairy-godmother said, “Put this in and […]...
- Значение идиомы make the fur fly [make the fur fly] or [make the feathers fly] {v. phr.}, {informal}Say or write mean things about someone or to jump on and fight hard. A man fooled Mr. Black and got his money. Mr. Black will really makethe fur fly when he finds the man. Mrs. Baker’s dog dug holes inher neighbor’s garden. The […]...
- Перевод слова sick Sick – больной, болезненный Перевод слова Sick condition – болезненное состояние sick years – годы болезни to heal the sick – лечить больных He is off Sick today. Его сегодня нет, он болеет. He was Sick in the car. В машине его стошнило. You’re Sick! Вы ненормальный!...
- Значение идиомы in one’s tracks [in one’s tracks] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. Just where one is atthe moment; abruptly; immediately. The hunter’s rifle cracked andthe rabbit dropped in his tracks. Mary stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and ran back home. Syn.: ON THE SPOT, THEN ANDTHERE. 2. See: FOLLOW IN ONE’S FOOTSTEPS....
- Getting a Men’s Haircut It’s been almost three months since I got a haircut and I went to the Barbershop where I always get it cut. But when I got there, the barbershop had been replaced by a Hair salon. Shinobu: Hi, I used to get my hair cut at the barbershop that was here. Nicole: Yeah, they closed. […]...
- Clinton administration medical dictionary Acute: Opposite of an ugly Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria Barium: What doctors do to dead patients Benign: What you are after you’re eight. Bowel: Letter like A, E, I, O, or U Cat scan: Searching for a kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in […]...
- A horrible tragedy A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two […]...