Two men were talking to each other about how pussy tastes

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1. Talking About TimeJuanita: What time is it? Chuck: It’s A quarter to 12. Why? Juanita: At Noon, on the dot, I’m supposed to meet James. Chuck: On the dot? What if you don’t get there until a few minutes Past four? Will you turn into a pumpkin? Juanita: Knock it off. I have good reason to be ... Читать далее...
2. A talking FrogA man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, «If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.» He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы talking point[talking point] {n.} Something good about a person or thing thatcan be talked about in selling it. The streamlined shape of the carwas one of its talking points. John tried to get Mary to dateBill. One of his talking points was that Bill was captain of thefootball team....
4. Перевод идиомы Now you’re talking!, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: Now you’re talking! Идиома: Now you’re talking! разг. Перевод: Вот это уже другой разговор! Неплохая идея! Пример: «Would you like pizza for dinner?» «Now you’re talking!» Хочешь пиццы на ужин? — Еще как!...
5. Three mice are sitting in a bar talkingThree mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, «I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.» And with ... Читать далее...
6. The talking dogA man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. «This is a talking dog,» he said. «And you can have him for five dollars.» The neighbour said, «Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.» Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. «Please ... Читать далее...
7. This man was having problems getting it up to have sexThis man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife’s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his ... Читать далее...
8. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
9. Two confirmed bachelors sat talkingTwo confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. «I got a cookbook once,» said the first, «but I could never do anything with it.» «Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?» asked the second. «You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way — ‘Take a clean dish ... Читать далее...
10. Two bikers were talking at a barTwo bikers were talking at a bar. «How’s married life?» asks the first. «It’s fine,» says the second. «How’s the sex?» asks the first. «Fine,» says the second, «At least I don’t have to wait in line!»...
11. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one askedDown in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, «Do you ever get to feeling horny?» «Yes,» her friend replied. «What do you do about it?» «I usually suck on a Lifesaver.» After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, «Well, what beach do you go to?»...
12. Coach Bowden was talking to the newest playerCoach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team. «It’s fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents.» Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, «I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on ... Читать далее...
13. Two young girls were talking about their sex livesTwo young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, «Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep for a week.» «What happened.» Says her intrigued friend. «I didn’t know what I was going to ... Читать далее...
14. A blonde and a brunette were talking one dayA blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him «Head and Shoulders» and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, «How do you give shoulders?»...
15. Talking About Sound and VolumeDelilah: Could you Turn that down? Josh: What? Delilah: Could you turn your music down? Josh: Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Delilah: No, there’s no problem. I was just trying to do some reading and the Ear-splitting music coming from your room made it hard To concentrate. Josh: Sorry. I didn’t think it was ... Читать далее...
16. An old rabbi is talking with one of his friendsAn old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, «I gladdened seven hearts today.» «Seven hearts?» asks the friend. «How did you do that?» The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, «I performed three marriages.» The friend looks at him quizically. «Seven?» he asks. «I could understand six, ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова tasteTaste — вкус; склонность, пристрастие Перевод слова To develop a taste for opera — полюбить оперу educated taste — развитой вкус taste improver — улучшитель вкуса, вкусовая добавка He is not a man to our Taste. Он — человек не в нашем вкусе. It didn’t Taste much of ginger. Я особо не почувствовал имбирь. She ... Читать далее...
18. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, whenThere is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says «Son do you remember that session I arranged for you ... Читать далее...
19. There were these three morticians talking aboutThere were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats. The first one says, «I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!» The next guy says, «oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run ... Читать далее...
20. Two zebras are talking and one asks the otherTwo zebras are talking and one asks the other, «Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?» The other replies, «Well I don’t know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.» So that night he did and God replied, «You are what you are.» The next day he said ... Читать далее...
21. A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel roomA man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an «escort» service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, «I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that’s for ... Читать далее...
22. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
23. A talking horseA travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. «Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my ... Читать далее...
24. The differenceThe boy asks his dad: «What’s the difference between a ‘cunt’ and a ‘pussy’?» The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: «Everything inside the circle is a ‘pussy’, everything outside the circle is a ‘cunt'»...
25. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitaryA dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat ... Читать далее...
26. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whalesA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a ... Читать далее...
27. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
28. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to CaliforniaAn old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, «Operator, giff me beck the party!» She says, «I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.» He says, «What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.» She ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы talking book[talking book] {n.} A book recorded by voice on phonograph recordsfor blind people. Billy, who was blind, learned history from atalking book....
30. GIRL’S CONFESSIONGIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. «So me and my cousin were alone in the house,» she continued, «and went up to my bedroom…» «Go on, my child,» said the priest gently. «I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы cherry farm[cherry farm] {n.}, {slang} A correctional institution of minimal security where the inmates, mostly first offenders, work as farmhands. Joe got a light sentence and was sent to a cherry farm for six months....
32. An effective contraceptiveAfter having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called ... Читать далее...
33. Missing the Tour Group BusKelly: Where is everybody? Man: Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Kelly: Oh, no. I was just Talking to myself. Our Tour group was supposed To rendezvous here at five o’clock for our Return trip to the hotel. But there’s No trace of the bus and I don’t see any other people from my ... Читать далее...
34. Little Johnny tried out for the school playLittle Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: «Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I’ll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.» Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad ... Читать далее...
36. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
37. Bathroom controlOne day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says «Hey Paco, you shit your pants?» Paco says «No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.» He believes him and they keep riding. As they ... Читать далее...
38. Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole atRalph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said, «Since you destroyed ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова supposeSuppose — полагать, предполагать, допускать Перевод слова I supposed him to be here — я полагаю, что он здесь he is supposed to be a rich man — его считают богатым человеком let us suppose that this is true — допустим, что это так We Suppose that the situation will improve. Мы полагаем, что ситуация ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы to the kings taste[to the kings taste] or [to the queen’s taste] {adv. phr.}Perfectly; just as anyone could want it; very satisfactorily. Therooms in her new home were painted and decorated to the queen’staste. The soldiers dressed and marched to the king’s taste....