Two guys go hunting
Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.
When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.
He rushes back to Jerry and yells, “I thought I told you to be quiet!”
Jerry says, “Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn’t make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn’t make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, ‘Should we take them with us or eat them here?’ I couldn’t keep quiet any more!”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)Related topics:
- Two guys are out hunting deer Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, “Did you see that?” The second guy says, “No.” “A bald eagle just flew over head.” “Oh.” A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, “Did you see that?” “No.” “There was a black bear walking on that hill over there.” “Oh.” A few […]...
- Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t getting any ducks. “What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion. “I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we aren’t throwing the dog up high enough.”...
- Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. “Well, Doc,” he inquired anxiously, “is he going to make it?” “It’s tough,” said the doctor. “He’d […]...
- A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, “If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he’s the one who shot it. Otherwise, he’ll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it.” The guy goes […]...
- Значение идиомы happy hunting ground [happy hunting ground] {n. phr.} 1. The place where, in AmericanIndian belief, a person goes after death; heaven. The Indiansbelieved that at death they went to the happy hunting ground. 2.{informal} A place or area where you can find a rich variety of whatyou want, and plenty of it. The forest is a happy hunting […]...
- Значение идиомы breathe down one’s neck [breathe down one’s neck] {v. phr.}, {informal} To follow closely; threaten from behind; watch every action. Too many creditors were breathing down his neck. The carpenter didn’t like to work for Mr. Jones, who was always breathing down his neck....
- Значение идиомы head-hunting [head-hunting] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. The custom of seekingout, decapitating, and preserving the heads of enemies as trophies. 2.A search for qualified individuals to fill certain positions. Thepresident sent a committee to the colleges and universities to do somehead-hunting; we hope he finds some young talent. 3. A systematicdestruction of opponents, especially in politics. Billings […]...
- One night, at the lodge of a hunting club One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, “See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire – place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you’ll never forget.” […]...
- Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
- The ‘Good Will Hunting’ Script’s Hidden Secret Penned by a couple of then-relatively unknown writers and produced with a modest budget, Good Will Hunting proved to be a surprising success at the box office. It also garnered several Oscar nominations, with the late Robin Williams picking up the prize for Best Supporting Actor. Also taking home Oscar gold for the movie were […]...
- Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
- Перевод слова peep Peep – подглядывать, заглядывать, выглядывать Перевод слова To peep round the corner – заглянуть за угол we must not peep and eavesdrop – мы не должны подглядывать и подслушивать to peep through a keyhole – подглядывать в замочную скважину Jon took a Peep at his watch. Джон мельком посмотрел на свои часы. I Peeped my […]...
- Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. “Where’s George?” one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. “He’s about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there ’cause I […]...
- Catching the bear Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran […]...
- So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down nails […]...
- These two guys had just gotten divorces These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s […]...
- A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. the pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and […]...
- Three guys are discussing women Three guys are discussing women. “I like to watch a woman’s tits best,” the first guy says. The second says “I like to look at a woman’s ass.” He asks the third guy “What about you?”. “Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.”...
- Two guys were discussing popular family trends Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?” Leroy replied, “I’m not sure, What was her maiden name?”...
- Minor Medical Injuries Cherise: Rise and shine! Isn’t it a lovely day? I love Getting back to nature. There’s nothing like going Camping. How did you sleep? Evan: That was the most Miserable night of my life! Cherise: Really? What happened? Evan: I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard a bear. I […]...
- Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
- A man escapes from prison A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of […]...
- Значение идиомы neck [neck] See: BREATHE DOWN ONE’S NECK, BREAK ONE’S NECK, CATCH IT INTHE NECK or GET IT IN THE NECK, PAIN IN THE NECK, SAVE ONE’S NECK, STICK ONE’S NECK OUT....
- Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don’t know where they are. The first guy says “I’ll find out” and puts his arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says “We’re just over Paris” “How do you know” ask the others “Well I’ve just felt the top of […]...
- Dating Nice Guys and Bad Boys Jack: I’ve had it. I’m going to start Treating women like dirt. I’d get more dates. Alison: What brought this on? Jack: I Got dumped again by a woman who thinks I’m too nice – too nice! She says she wants to be with someone who’s more Assertive and Unpredictable. She didn’t say it In […]...
- Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, […]...
- There was three guys, one with a rubber There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn’t have sex because it wasn’t hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn’t have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with […]...
- Baby bear wants to live somewhere else The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of […]...
- Значение идиомы jerry-built [jerry-built] {adj.} 1. Built poorly or carelessly of cheapmaterials; easily broken. That jerry-built cabin will blow apart ina strong wind. 2. Done without careful preparation or thought;planned too quickly. When the regular television program didn’tcome on, a jerry-built program was substituted at the last minute....
- Four married guys go golfing Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second Guy: “That’s nothing, […]...
- A Flirt Elaine: You look happy. Jerry: Me? Oh, I was just talking to Ling. Elaine: Oh, No wonder! You better Watch out. She’s a big Flirt. Jerry: What do you mean? Elaine: Did she Make eyes at you and Whisper sweet nothings in your ear? Jerry: Well, yes, she said she’d never met anybody like me […]...
- These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
- Two guys are driving through Texas when Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that? The trooper says, “You’re in […]...
- Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
- Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who […]...
- Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
- I get so drunk that I imagine things The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. […]...
- Перевод слова neck Neck – шея Перевод слова To break the neck – свернуть шею up to the neck – по горло, по уши to break the neck of winter – оставить позади большую часть зимы nervy neck – мускулистая шея They Necked their Queen. Они отрубили голову своей королеве. She gave him a Neck massage. Она сделала […]...
- Being Sued Ally: Hello, Ally McNeal. Jerry: Ally, this is Jerry Mason. I need to talk to you right away. We’re Being sued and we’ve just Been served. This is one of those times I wish we had In-house counsel. Ally: Jerry, you know that our firm will do its best To represent you, as we’ve done […]...
- Controlling your spouse There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your […]...