THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE

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1. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I […]...
2. Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, “I went to my parents wedding last week and we all got rat-arsed.” Being quick on the uptake the second one says, ” […]...
3. Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had a little stroke. The third little old lady would have had a stroke…………….but her arms weren’t quite long enough....
4. Some people are sitting in a bar Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG.” Another guy says, “What’s that?” The first guy says, “That means I am a Single, New Age Guy.” Another one says, “My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks, “What’s that?” […]...
5. Перевод идиомы at one sitting / in one sitting, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: at one sitting / in one sitting Перевод: за один раз, в один присест Пример: We finished the food at one sitting. Мы все съели в один присест....
6. An old man and an old woman were sitting An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,”You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.” The woman said, “Why don’t we try that again?” So they stripped and sat down at the table again. […]...
7. A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
8. Перевод слова knock Knock – стук, удар; бить, вбивать Перевод слова To knock at the door – постучаться to knock out an electron – выбивать электрон to knock down a hurdle – сбить препятствие to knock a nail in – вбить гвоздь Knock on the door before you enter the room. Стучите в дверь, прежде чем войти в […]...
9. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters […]...
10. The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.” More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their […]...
11. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, […]...
12. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, “Whatcha doin’ Daddy?” Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. “Oh, I’m just […]...
13. Перевод слова goodness Goodness – доброта, великодушие, любезность Перевод слова Goodness of heart – сердечная доброта have the goodness to do – будьте добры, сделайте goodness of material – доброкачественность материала Please have the Goodness to wait. Будьте добры, подождите, пожалуйста. For Goodness’ sake stop arguing! Ради всего святого, прекратите спорить! Wisdom and Goodness radiated from his face. […]...
14. Значение идиомы sitting pretty [sitting pretty] {adj.}, {slang} To be in a lucky position. Thenew library is sitting pretty because a wealthy woman gave it $10,000worth of reference books. Mr. Jones was sitting pretty until his$25,000-a-year job was dropped by the company....
15. Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. “Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then […]...
16. Значение идиомы table [table] See: AT THE TABLE or AT TABLE, COFFEE TABLE, PUT ONE’SCARDS ON THE TABLE or LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, TURN THE TABLES, WAIT AT TABLE or WAIT ON TABLE....
17. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
18. Перевод слова table Table – стол; таблица Перевод слова A cloth for table use – обеденная скатерть table manners – умение вести себя за столом to compile a table – составлять таблицу from under the table – из-под стола The Table was set fairly. Стол был чудесно сервирован. Put the book on the Table! Положите книгу на стол. […]...
19. There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically trying to climb up. While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says, “God bless you children, that’s Christianity at work. May the lord bless […]...
20. Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking arse.” Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language. “That’s okay,” the blonde replied, “If […]...
21. An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
22. An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says ‘Have you ever been kissed?’ No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a while the Scotchman approaches her and says ‘Have you ever been fondled?’. She says no […]...
23. Getting a Car Serviced Sophia: Is my car ready? Mechanic: I’m finished with your Oil change and I replaced the Oil filter. I’ve also replaced the wiper Blades in your Windshield wipers. But I’ve had a good look under your hood, and your car needs a lot of work. Sophia: Really? Mechanic: Yes, you have some serious problems. I […]...
24. Перевод сленгового выражения sitting duck, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: sitting duck Перевод: легкая цель; что-либо или кто-либо беззащитный, уязвимый, или находящийся в рискованной, опасной ситуации Пример: The sweet old lady was a sitting duck for the aggressive salesman. Эта приятная пожилая дама была легкой целью для настойчивого продавца. Out in the open field, the soldiers were sitting ducks for enemy snipers. В […]...
25. Значение идиомы fence-sitting [fence-sitting] {n.} or {adj.} Choosing neither side. You havebeen fence-sitting for too long. It is time you made up your mind. Contrast: MAKE UP ONE’S MIND, TAKE SIDES....
26. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
27. Stay over one night A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds. They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the […]...
28. Knock Knock Christmas Knock Knock Who’s there? Wenceslas Wenceslas who? Wenceslas train home? Knock Knock Who’s there? Snow Snow who? Snow business like show business! Knock Knock Who’s there? Wayne Wayne who? Wayne in a manger… ! Knock Knock Who’s there? Donut Donut who? Donut open till Christmas! Knock Knock Who’s there? Oakham Oakham who? Oakham all ye […]...
29. Значение идиомы wait at table [wait at table] or [wait on table] or [wait table] {v. phr.} Toserve food. Mrs. Lake had to teach her new maid to wait on tableproperly. The girls earn spending money by waiting at table in theschool dining rooms....
30. Значение идиомы lay one’s cards on the table [lay one’s cards on the table] or [lay down one’s cards] or [putone’s cards on the table] {v. phr.}, {informal} To let someone knowyour position and interest openly; deal honestly; act without trickeryor secrets. In talking about buying the property, Peterson laid hiscards on the table about his plans for it. Some of the graduatesof […]...
31. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, “Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.” He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was […]...
32. Перевод слова stair Stair – лестница, ступенька Перевод слова Flight of stairs – лестничный марш above stairs – в жилых комнатах; “наверху” below stairs – в кухне и в помещении для прислуги The Stairs are steep. Эта лестница крутая. The Stairs lead to the roof. Эта лестница ведет на крышу. He waited at the foot of the Stairs. […]...
33. There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called “lady of the night”. She says, “For $300.00, I’ll do anything you want.” Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says: Ok. Paint my house, bitch!...
34. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
35. Перевод идиомы be sitting pretty, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: be sitting pretty Перевод: быть в хорошем, выгодном, удачном положении (обычно из-за наличия больших денег); неплохо устроиться; жить в комфорте и роскоши Пример: They bought their house when prices were much lower so they’re sitting pretty. Они купили свой дом, когда цены были гораздо ниже, так что они хорошо устроились....
36. Chemistry song 01 The Chemistry Teacher’s Coming to Town You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I’m telling you now The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He’s collecting data He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out The heat of melting ice The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He sees you when you’re […]...
37. Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: “You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister.” “Well,” his buddy replied, “between you and me we got ’em all.”...
38. Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times. One says to the other, “Darling, do you remember the minuet?” The other replies, “Sweetheart, I can’t even remember the ones I screwed!”...
39. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. “Would you […]...
40. Being Vague and Unfocused Thierry: I’m Pumped and ready to help paint the community center this weekend. What time are we supposed to get there in the morning? Bonnie: I’m not sure. Sophia was a little Vague about that. She told people To show up when they can Make it. Thierry: That doesn’t sound like an Auspicious start. How […]...