The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman

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1. The young playboy took a blind date to anThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
2. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement parkThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
3. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aidA woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, «How many children do you have?» «Ten,» she replied. «What are their names?» he asked. «LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,» she answered. «They’re all named LeRoy?» he asked «What if you want them ... Читать далее...
4. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old ladyAn attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. «We have come for an examination,» said the young girl. «Alright,» said the doctor. «Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.» «No, not me,» said the girl. «it’s my old aunt here.» «Very well,» said the doctor. «Madam, stick ... Читать далее...
5. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confessionThere once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, «Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.» The priest said, «Confess your sins and be forgiven.» The young woman said, «Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.» The priest thought long and hard ... Читать далее...
6. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
7. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
8. A rather attractive woman goes up to the barA rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. ... Читать далее...
9. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatristA very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, «Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?» «I’m sure I can,» the psychiatrist replied. «Just ... Читать далее...
10. A young married womanA young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, «Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?» She thought about it a minute then said, «Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.»...
11. This woman goes into a dentist’s officeThis woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: «I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.» The woman then says with anticipated agony, «Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!» To which the dentist replies: «Well make up your mind. ... Читать далее...
12. A woman walks into her accountant’s office andA woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, «Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.» He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, «What is your occupation?» The woman replies, «I’m a whore.» The accountant balks ... Читать далее...
13. A woman goes into the local newspaper office to seeA woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, «Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.» Confounded at the woman’s thrift, ... Читать далее...
14. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
15. Перевод слова attractiveAttractive — привлекательный, очаровательный Перевод слова Attractive smile — очаровательная улыбка attractive package — привлекательная упаковка attractive girl — очаровательная девушка sexually attractive — соблазнительный I must say, it’s a very Attractive offer. Я должен сказать, это очень привлекательное предложение. Women seem to find him Attractive. Женщины находят его привлекательным. Происхождение слова attractive Образовано от ... Читать далее...
16. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
17. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
18. An old woman came into her doctors officeAn old woman came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. «I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?» «Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three ... Читать далее...
19. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...
20. A young man took a girl out to dinner and a showA young man took a girl out to dinner and a show. They got along very well, and when he asked her if she would like to come up to his apartment for a drink she agreed. After they were at the apartment a while, he asked if he could give her an old fashioned ... Читать далее...
21. The young wife was in tears when she opened the doorThe young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. «I’ve been insulted,» she sobbed. «Your mother insulted me.» «My mother!» he exclaimed. «But she is a hundred miles away.» «I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.» He looked stern, «I see, but where ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод идиомы up-to-date / up to date, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up-to-date / up to date Перевод: современный, отвечающий последним требованиям Пример: The kitchen in our apartment is not up-to-date at all. Кухня в нашей квартире совсем не современная....
23. A young blonde woman is distraughtA young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband ... Читать далее...
24. A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossingA young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. ... Читать далее...
25. A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supplyA young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. ... Читать далее...
26. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
27. Значение идиомы out of date[out of date] {adj. phr.} Old fashioned; superseded; no longervalid; too old to be used. Father’s suit is out of date; he needs anew one. The news magazines in the doctor’s office were all out ofdate....
28. Перевод слова post-officePost-office — почта, почтовое отделение Перевод слова Post office official — почтовый чиновник post-office receipt — почтовая квитанция post-office box — абонементный почтовый ящик post office coach — почтовый вагон date of a post-office stamp — дата почтового штемпеля It was an old Post-office where clerks candled the letters. Это была почта старого образца, где ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова dateDate — дата; свидание Перевод слова Delivery date — дата поставки the date of youth — юные годы, пора молодости date of birth — дата рождения to make a date with smb. — назначить свидание с кем-л. Is he still Dating Sarah? Он по прежнему встречается с Сарой? She has a hot Date with Michel. ... Читать далее...
30. The woman’s secretAt a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. «No woman,» said one man, scornfully, «can keep a secret.» «I don’t know about that,» huffily answered a woman guest. «I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.» «You’ll let it out some day,» the ... Читать далее...
31. A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quartersA young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch. «Hi, there, I’m Jerry,» he said, as ... Читать далее...
32. Перевод слова up-to-dateUp-to-date — современный, новейший Перевод слова Up-to-date maps — карты, показывающие современные границы, города и т. п. up-to-date model — новейшая модель to bring a report up-to-date — включить в доклад самые последние сведения The survey is patchy and by no means not as Up-to-date as one expects. Обзор отрывочный и, без сомнения, не такой ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы to date[to date] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} Up to the present time; until now. To date twenty students have been accepted into the school. Thepolice have not found the runaway to date. Jim is shoveling snowto earn money, but his earnings to date are small. Syn.: SO FAR....
34. Application For Permission To Date My DaughterNote: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician. Name:______________________________________________________ Date of Birth:________________ Height:_____________________ Weight:______ IQ:___________________________ GPA:_____________ Social Security Number:_____ Driver’s License Number:______ Boy Scout Rank:_____________ Telephone:____________________ Home Address:______________________________________________ City:_______________________ State:________________________ Zip:_____________ 1.Do you have one male and one ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова replyReply — ответ, отвечать Перевод слова In reply to your letter — в ответ на ваше письмо to make a reply — ответить, дать ответ reply paid — с оплаченным ответом Reply to the question. Ответь на вопрос. He laughed a Reply. Он ответил со смехом. I’ll Reply by wire. Я отвечу телеграммой....
36. On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asksOn a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks: Guy: Can I come up for a cup of coffee? Girl: Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date. The guy thinks for a minute and says: Well, what about the last date?...
37. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, «Do you know what I’m doing?» «Yes,» she replied, ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова womanWoman — женщина Перевод слова A woman with history — женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight — необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman — привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman — смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She ... Читать далее...
39. An American woman and an Iranian womanAn American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, «These remind me of my husband’s testicles.» The American woman says, «That big?» The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.»...
40. The blind date had not been all that great andThe blind date hadn’t been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said «Hey! You wanna see my underwear?» Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any. She glanced down and said, ... Читать далее...