Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ The new Euro language

The new Euro language

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, «s» will be used instead of the soft «c». Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard «c» will be replaced with «k». Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome «ph» will be replaced by «f». This will make words like «fotograf» 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent «e»s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing «th» by z» and «w» by v

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary «o» kan be dropd from vords kontaining «ou», and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!



Текст my leisure time.
Моя комната мечты на английском языке.

Related topics:

  1. Europe EnglishThe European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known ... Читать далее...
  2. Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletinSpeaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin…….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year ... Читать далее...
  3. Changing of the English LanguageHaving chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult — for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a ... Читать далее...
  4. Language Trends of the FutureThere are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and in all likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in the future. In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel. All consonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leaving only an extended «Eauuuuuuuuuuuu…» Meaning will ... Читать далее...
  5. European UnionThe European Union or the EU is an intergovernmental and supranational union of 25 European countries, known as member states. The European Union was established under that name in 1992 by the Treaty on European Union, the Maastricht Treaty. However, many aspects of the Union existed before that date through a series of predecessor relationships, ... Читать далее...
  6. A (Very) Brief History of the English LanguageContent: Indo-European and Germanic Influences Old English (500-1100 AD) The Norman Conquest and Middle English (1100-1500) Early-Modern English (1500-1800) Late-Modern English (1800-Present) American English Indo-European and Germanic Influences English is a member of the Indo-European family of languages. This broad family includes most of the European languages spoken today. The Indo-European family includes several major ... Читать далее...
  7. Перевод слова adoptAdopt — усыновлять, удочерять, принимать Перевод слова To adopt a decision — принять решение to adopt a new theory — принимать новую теорию to adopt a child — усыновить ребенка They decided to Adopt a child. Они решили усыновить ребенка. Did he Adopt your point of view? Он принял вашу точку зрения?...
  8. Canada languageHow you can spot a Canadian, eh? — Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers) How do you tell a Canadian from an American? It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he’d say «zed» instead of «zee». But 18 years of Sesame Street ... Читать далее...
  9. Значение идиомы at one[at one] {adj. phr.} 1. In union or harmony; in agreement or sympathy. Not usually used informally. He felt at one with all the poets who have sung of love. 2. Of the same opinion, in agreement. Husband and wife were at one on everything but money. Contrast: AT ODDS....
  10. Перевод слова EuropeanEuropean — европейский, европеец Перевод слова The European conquerors of Mexico — европейские завоеватели Мексики enlargement of the European Union — расширение Европейского Союза central european — центральноевропейский All European domestic cattle belong to the same species. Весь домашний европейский скот относятся к одному виду. They might find traces of European sojourn on the island. ... Читать далее...
  11. Английский язык/ English LanguageАнглийский язык English Language Английский язык в настоящее время является наиболее широко используемым языком в мире. Он принадлежит к германской группе языков, и используется на шести континентах. К странам, которые говорят на английском, как на родном языке, относятся Великобритания, США, Канада, Австралия, Новая Зеландия и многие другие суверенные государства. Это официальный язык ряда мировых организаций, ... Читать далее...
  12. English languageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We ... Читать далее...
  13. Quotes from stupid 01These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. «The effects are fleeting and lingering…» — Overheard in a hallway «In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.» — CBS reporter during the solar eclipse «A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.» — ... Читать далее...
  14. Перевод слова spellingSpelling — орфография, правописание Перевод слова Spelling rule — орфографическое правило spelling reform — реформа правописания word spelling checker — программа проверки орфографии He is poor at Spelling. У него хромает правописание. He is shaky in his Spelling. Он не силен в правописании. Check your Spelling and grammar. Проверьте свои правописание и грамматику. Происхождение слова ... Читать далее...
  15. Перевод слова agreementAgreement — согласие, соглашение, договор Перевод слова Collective agreement — коллективный договор as part of the agreement — в рамках соглашения to conclude an agreement — заключить договор, соглашение I thought we had an Agreement. Я думал, мы договорились. They had an unwritten Agreement. У них был негласный договор. He nodded his head in Agreement. ... Читать далее...
  16. My Foreign Language Teacher — Мой учитель иностранного языка (1)When we first come to school, a teacher meets us and says: «I am going to teach you how to write, to read, and to count.» No matter how many teachers we have after that, we remember our first teacher’s name for the rest of our lives. Teachers are with us during all our life. ... Читать далее...
  17. Значение идиомы open shop[open shop] {n. phr.} A factory or firm that employs both union andnon-union labor. The firm refuses to adopt an open shop policy. Contrast: CLOSED SHOP....
  18. Christmas and Hanukkah MergerContinuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having ... Читать далее...
  19. English languageEnglish is a Germanic Language of the Indo-European Family. It is the second most spoken language in the world. It is estimated that there are 300 million native speakers and 300 million who use English as a second language and a further 100 million use it as a foreign language. It is the language of ... Читать далее...
  20. English is a Crazy LanguageFrom: Charlie Indelicato Let’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But ... Читать далее...
  21. Ehglish Language — Английский языкIt won’t be an exaggeration to say that English is the most important language in the world. Nearly half of the world population speaks English. Some of the largest countries in the world are English-speaking. Among them the USA, Canada, Australia and Great Britain. By its origin English belongs to Germanic languages of the Indo-European ... Читать далее...
  22. Английский язык/ The English LanguageНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык The English Language Английский язык It won’t be an exaggeration to say that English is the most important language in the world. Nearly half of the world population speaks English. Some of the largest countries in the world are English-speaking. Among them the USA, Canada, Australia and Great ... Читать далее...
  23. British Individualism — Британский индивидуализмThe British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as a token of Britishness. In these matters, their conservatism can combine with their individualism; they are rather proud of being different. It is: for example, very difficult to imagine that they will ever agree to change from driving on the left-hand ... Читать далее...
  24. Роль английского языка в современном мире/ The Role Of The English Language In The Modern WorldНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык The Role Of The English Language In The Modern World Роль английского языка в современном мире Half a century ago English was just one of the international languages, accepted in the world. As the time passed, the role of English in the society has significantly increased. Nearly every ... Читать далее...
  25. Being Different — British CharacterThe British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. In these use the same scales that are used nearly everywhere else in the world. But it has had only limited The British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. ... Читать далее...
  26. Перевод слова unionUnion — союз, объединение Перевод слова A gracious union of excellence and strength — привлекательное сочетание мастерства и силы customs union — таможенный союз union of sets — объединение множеств Soviet Union — Советский Союз They live in perfect Union. Они живут в полном согласии. Their Union was blessed with three children. Бог послал им ... Читать далее...
  27. Learning foreign languageТопик Изучение иностранного языка объясняет, что в наше время каждый образованный человек должен знать иностранный язык. И самый популярный язык во всем мире — английский. Это язык прогрессивной науки и техники, торговых и культурных связей, торговли и предпринимательства, язык международной авиации, судоходства и спорта и основной язык дипломатии. На втором месте в мире – китайский ... Читать далее...
  28. Перевод идиомы in plain language / in plain English, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: in plain language / in plain English Перевод: простым и понятным языком Пример: My bank explained to me in plain English what the terms of the loan were. В банке мне просто и доходчиво объяснили условия займа....
  29. Why Do We Learn the English Language — Зачем мы изучаем английский язык (2)I am sure every well-educated person should speak English, because it is the language of communication, business, science and culture. English is now the most important and widespread language in the world. It is the state language in five countries: Great Britain, Canada, the USA, Australia and New Zealand. In many Asian and African countries ... Читать далее...
  30. Divided by a Common Language — Разделенные общим языкомGeorge Bernard Shaw said that America and Britain were two nations divided by a common language. But how different is British English from American English? Some British and American people gave their definitions for some common words. Something that you burn for heating and cooking Something you put in your car make it go A ... Читать далее...
  31. English is the Language of CommunicationТопик Английский язык является языком общения — расскажет, что изучение иностранных языков необходимо в настоящее время. Но самым распространенным и важным для общения людей разных национальностей является английский язык. На нем говорят во всем мире и это официальный язык Великобритании, Ирландии, Соединенных Штатов Америки, Канады, Австралии. Зная английский язык, вы можете без проблем путешествовать по ... Читать далее...
  32. Why Do We Learn the English Language — Зачем мы изучаем английский язык (1)I am sure, in order to have a good job one should know foreign languages. The most widespread languages in the world are Chinese, Spanish, English and some others. But every well-educated person in the world speaks English, because it is the language of communication, business, science and culture. English is now the most important ... Читать далее...
  33. English as a World Language — Английский язык язык международного общенияToday English is the language of the world. It is only in the course of the last hundred years that English has become a world language. In Shakespeare’s time it was a «provincial» language of secondary importance with only 6 million native speakers. Nowadays over 300 million people speak it as a mother tongue. English ... Читать далее...
  34. The English Language — Английский язык (2)The English Language (2) English is spoken practically all over the world. It is spoken as the mother tongue in Great Britain, the United States of America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. A lot of people speak English in China, Japan, India, Africa and other countries — It is one of 6 official languages of ... Читать далее...
  35. Значение идиомы take over[take over] {v.} 1a. To take control or possession of. Heexpects to take over the business when his father retires. 1b. Totake charge or responsibility. The airplane pilot fainted and hisco-pilot had to take over. 2. To borrow, imitate, or adopt. TheJapanese have taken over many European ways of life....
  36. Worries while flyingTwo statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that ... Читать далее...
  37. Microsoft ChristmasNORTH POLE (API) — MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of ... Читать далее...
  38. Топик «Английский как международный язык» (English as an international language)English is the native language for more than 300 million people on our earth. But nowadays it is widely used not only in those countries where it is a first language. A lot of countries (such as China, Russia, Thailand and many others) have recognized the importance of this language recently as an international means ... Читать далее...
  39. Значение идиомы come to terms[come to terms] {v. phr.} To reach an agreement. Management and the labor union came to terms about a new arrangement and a strike was prevented....
  40. English Language — Английский язык (1)Every language has different kinds of variants: geographical or territorial, perhaps the most obvious; stylistic variation reflects the differences between the written and the spoken form of the standard national language in the given region and others. I am going to tell you about Standard English. Notwithstanding, English is the national and state language of ... Читать далее...

The new Euro language