State of Arkansas Residency Application

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1. Arkansas Governor ApplicationFirst name:___________________Last name(if known):_______________________ Address (where you live): Mother’s name(list also relation, i. e., sister):__________________ Birthdate(yours):____________________ Father’s name (if known, if not, list two possible choices)______________ Color of neck: Light Red( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red( ) No Neck( ) Year of pickup truck:____________ Do you have the following in your truck: Fuzzy Dice( ... Читать далее...
2. Application For Permission To Date My DaughterNote: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician. Name:______________________________________________________ Date of Birth:________________ Height:_____________________ Weight:______ IQ:___________________________ GPA:_____________ Social Security Number:_____ Driver’s License Number:______ Boy Scout Rank:_____________ Telephone:____________________ Home Address:______________________________________________ City:_______________________ State:________________________ Zip:_____________ 1.Do you have one male and one ... Читать далее...
3. Arkansas Mother Writes Her SonARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you ... Читать далее...
4. In the back woods of ArkansasIn the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, «Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.» ... Читать далее...
5. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergartenOne day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова stateState — состояние, положение; государственный Перевод слова State service — государственная служба state boundary — государственная граница state of decay — состояние упадка state of war — состояние войны Water exists in three States: liquid, gaseous, and solid. Вода существует в трех состояниях: жидком, газообразном и твердом. What a State you are in! В каком ... Читать далее...
7. Spice Girls Application FormNeed a change? Here’s the Spice Girls Application Form Name: Age: Real Age: 1. How would you describe yourself? a. An energetic self starter b. A team player c. Pro-active d. A tasty bit of crumpet 2. Do you have any vestige of talent, besides your chest or butt? 3. Would it bother you if ... Читать далее...
8. A man in a state of excessive inebriationA man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun. He aimed unsteadily ... Читать далее...
9. Thank you..thank you very much!Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the ... Читать далее...
10. HomeworkOne day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, «We’re learning about sexual education.» She smiled, and said, «At least he’s learning something usefull.» Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy’s mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы lie in state[lie in state] {v. phr.} Of a dead person: To lie in a place ofhonor, usually in an open coffin, and be seen by the public beforeburial. When the president died, thousands of people saw his bodylying in state....
12. A state-of-the-art watchA cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, «Is your date running late?» «No», he replies,»I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы state-of-the-art[state-of-the-art] {adj. phr.} The best and — the latest any fieldof research can offer; modern; the latest; the most advanced. State-of-the-art personal computers may cost a little more than oldermodels, but may be worth the cost for those who need them. Compare:UP TO DATE....
14. Are You About to Employ a Robot?This test was written by ME, Roger Carasso, for the UCB Psychology Department. It is intended to be used by companies that are recruiting on campus. With this test you can determine whether an applicant you are interviewing is a Robot, a Vulcan/Math MAjor, or a Liberal Arts major. Tear off here, and administer test ... Читать далее...
15. A state trooper pulled a car overA state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. «I was only going 40!» the driver protested. «Not according to my radar,» the trooper said. «Yes, I was!» the man shouted back. «No you weren’t!» the trooper said. With that, the ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова yellowYellow — желтый, золотистый; трусливый Перевод слова Yellow jersey — желтая майка лидера yellow journalism — желтая пресса light yellow — бледно-желтый tiny tot with yellow hair — малыш с золотистыми волосами He has a Yellow streak in him. Он трусоват. Yellow leaves floated down. Желтые листья плыли вниз по течению. Yellow doesn’t suit me ... Читать далее...
17. Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinnerSome time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff ... Читать далее...
18. These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary forThese two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, «You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you.» Joe replied. «Are you crazy?!!» Larry went on to say, «I promise you that it won’t hurt and ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова yardYard — ярд; двор Перевод слова To sell by the yard — продавать на ярды (ткань и т. п.) all over the yard — по всему двору poultry yard — птичий двор The dog ran loose in the Yard. Собака свободно бегала по двору. The kids built a snowman in the front Yard. Дети слепили ... Читать далее...
20. Billy was 14 and just started jerkin offBilly was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him. «Billy,» said his dad, «doing that will make ... Читать далее...
21. THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN«Members of Congress…People of America….I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D. C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, ... Читать далее...
22. State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading TestState of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test TEST #1 TEST #2 TEST #3 TEST #4 MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot SAR SAR SAR SAR CM Wangs CM BDI’s CMMT Pockets CMEDBD Feet LIB LIB LIB LIB MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice...
23. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
24. Идеальное государство/ Ideal StateНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Ideal State Идеальное государство Throughout history, people have always tried to establish an ideal world, where everyone could live in happiness, fairness and equality. Many great philosophers have worked on this question. They tried to find out what the ideal state is. They even created utopian societies for ... Читать далее...
25. Clinton is vacationingLast summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы here and there[here and there] {adv. phr.} 1. In one place and then in another. I looked here and there for my pen, but I didn’t look everywhere. Here and there in the yard little yellow flowers had sprung up. 2.In various directions. We went here and there looking for berries. Compare: HITHER AND THITHER....
27. APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENTNAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can ... Читать далее...
28. Family sexTO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too ... Читать далее...
29. Millennia Year Application Software SystemThis memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the «Millennia Year Application Software System» (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы rubber check[rubber check] {n.}, {informal} A check written without enoughmoney in the bank to make it good. Bill got into trouble when hepaid his bills with rubber checks. By the time we knew he had paidus with a rubber check, the man had left the state. The rubbercheck bounced....
31. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-BobOn the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he ... Читать далее...
32. California the Golden State — Калифорния Золотой штатCalifornia is the most populous state in the United States, and the third largest by land area, after Alaska and Texas. Its nickname is the Golden state and its motto is «Eureka!» which means «I have found it.» Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can surely find it here. More than 200 different languages ... Читать далее...
33. French guy in EnglandFrench guy went for a job interview In England. He was told that he must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow. His answer was: «I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone «green green», I «pink» up the phone and I say «Yellow» Юмор в том, ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова checkCheck — проверять, сверять Перевод слова To check for errors — корректировать, исправлять to check an instrument — выверять прибор check ballot — проверочное голосование Hey, Check out that car! Эй, зацени, ту машину! Does his story Check out? Его рассказ подтверждается? Check your spelling and grammar. Проверьте орфографию и грамматику. Примеры из жизни На ... Читать далее...
35. Administration. State and Municipal Governments — Государственное управление. Правительство штатов и муниципальное правительствоThe governments of the 50 states have structures closely paralleling those of the federal government. Each state has a governor, a legislature and a judiciary. Each state has its own constitution. All state legislatures but one have two houses, Nebraska’s being unicameral. Traditionally, state legislatures have been dominated by rural representatives who may not always ... Читать далее...
36. Administration in USA. State and Municipal Governments — Государственное управление. Правительство штатов и муниципальное правительствоThe governments of the 50 states of US have structures closely paralleling those of the federal government. Each state has a governor, a legislature and a judiciary. Each state has its own constitution. State governments have functions, encompassing agriculture and conservation, highway and motor vehicle supervision, public safety and corrections, licensing, business and industry, and ... Читать далее...
37. California JokesCalifornia: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Dumb California Laws Sunshine ... Читать далее...
38. The State Power System in the Russian Federation — Государственная система власти в Российской ФедерацииIn 1992 — shortly after the Soviet Union broke up — Russia established a transitional (temporary) government headed by Boris N. Yeltsin. Yeltsin had been elected president of the R. S. F. S. R. in 1991. After the break-up of the Soviet Union, Yeltsin continued to serve as president of Russia. In December 1993, Russia ... Читать далее...
39. A husband and wife were in their back yardA husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, «Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.» She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, «Yep, that thing is getting huge.» At this, the wife retreated to the ... Читать далее...
40. A clear moralOne day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story. Suzy said, «Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive ... Читать далее...