Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be

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1. Перевод слова meetMeet — встречаться, встречать Перевод слова To meet with competition — сталкиваться с конкуренцией our eyes met — наши взгляды встретились let’s meet for dinner — давайте пообедаем вместе How seldom we Meet! Как же редко мы встречаемся! Meet me at 8.00. Встречай меня в 8.00. Pleased to Meet you. Рад с вами познакомиться. Интересные ... Читать далее...
2. Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunionSue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, «It’s OK. We get it on every week ... Читать далее...
3. Some very common traits in two drunksA man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. «Why of course,» comes the reply. The first man then asks: «Where are you from?» «I’m from Ireland,» replies the second man. The first man responds: «You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s ... Читать далее...
4. A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a barA man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. «Why of course,» comes the reply. The first man then asks: «Where are you from?» «I’m from Ireland,» replies the second man. The first man responds: «You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s ... Читать далее...
5. Tommy goes into a confessional box and saysTommy goes into a confessional box and says, «Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.» The Priest says, «Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says «Yes father, it’s me.» The Priest says «Who was the woman you were with?» Tommy says «I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t ... Читать далее...
6. Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and stillSadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, «Mama! I ... Читать далее...
7. Try to explain womenA man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. «Sure,» GOD says, «Go right ahead». «OK,» the man says. «Why did you make women so pretty?» GOD says, «So you would like them.» «OK,» the guy says. «But how come you ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы meet up with[meet up with] {v. phr.} To meet by accident; come upon withoutplanning or expecting to. When he ran around the tree, Bob suddenlymeet up with a large bear. The family would have arrived on time, but they met up with a flat tire....
9. Edward walks out of a barEdward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. «Can I help you, fella?», asks the cop. «Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!» Edward replies. The cop asks, «Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?». «It ... Читать далее...
10. A drunken blonde goes into a barA drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, «Gimme a beer.» The bartender then asks, «Anheuser-Busch?» To which she replies, «Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?»...
11. Значение идиомы make ends meet[make ends meet] {v. phr.} To have enough money to pay one’s bills;earn what it costs to live. Both husband and wife had to work tomake ends meet....
12. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы meet with[meet with] {v.} 1. To meet, usually by accident. Inthe woods he met with two strangers. Syn.: COME UPON. 2. To meettogether, usually by plan; join; have a meeting with. The twoscouts met with the officers to talk about plans for the march. 3. Toexperience ; suffer ; have. The farmer met with misfortune; his ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод идиомы meet the requirements (for something), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: meet the requirements (for something) Перевод: удовлетворять требованиям Пример: The new nurse does not meet the requirements to be a nurse in our hospital. Новая медсестра не удовлетворяет условиям, чтобы быть медсестрой в нашей больнице....
15. A businessman boards a flight66.A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, «This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод идиомы meet someone halfway, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: meet someone halfway Перевод: пойти кому-либо навстречу, найти компромисс Пример: He is very stubborn and is never willing to meet his friends halfway. Он очень упрямый и никогда не хочет пойти навстречу своим друзьям....
17. Stolen CarStolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, «Can I help you, sir?» «Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!» the man replies. The cop asks, «Where was your car the last time you saw it?» «It ... Читать далее...
18. Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in townTwo Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. «How’re thangs with y’all, Pete?» one asked. «Not bad atall,» Pete replied. «My old woman ain’t talkin’ to me thiseyer week…and I ain’t in no mood to interrupt her.»...
19. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet themA girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. «What’s your name?» she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers «My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.» She goes up to the second dog and asks «What’s your name?» The ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод идиомы make ends meet, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: make ends meet Перевод: сводить концы с концами Пример: It is hard to make ends meet on his salary. С его зарплатой трудно сводить концы с концами....
21. A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks herA guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, «how much?» she replies, «$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up.» He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, «it’s my hairdresser’s fee!»...
22. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
23. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
24. Hillary goes to heavenHillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says «Hillary, I know you’re ‘somebody’ down on Earth, but up here, you’re just another person. And, I’m swamped right now, so have a seat and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can.» So Hillary sits down ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы meet one’s eye[meet one’s eye] {v. phr.} To be in plain view or come into plainview; appear clearly or obviously. When John rounded the bend, aclear blue lake met his eye. On a first reading the plan lookedgood, but there was more to it than met the eye....
26. You can’t bring that dog in this barA man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says «You can’t bring that dog in here!» The guy, without missing a beat, says «This is my seeing-eye dog.» «Oh man, » the bartender says, «I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on ... Читать далее...
27. While enjoying a drink with a mate one nightWhile enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы meet one’s Waterloo[meet one’s Waterloo] {v. phr.} To be defeated; lose an importantcontest. After seven straight victories the team met its Waterloo. John fought instead of running, and the bully met his Waterloo....
29. The little boy comes home from school and asks momThe little boy comes home from school and asks mom, «Where do babies come from?» Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time she replies, «From the stork of course!» The little guy thinks for a few seconds and then asks, «But mom, who fucks the stork?»...
30. A kind of sportA guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, «What the hell was that?» He replies, «Touchdown, I am ... Читать далее...
31. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breastsA man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, «What are you doing?» She replies, «I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.» The husband retorts, «Well, what did he say about your 50 year ... Читать далее...
32. Two mates are having a chat over a beerTwo mates are having a chat over a beer. «Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?» one bloke asks his friend. «No way!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, «do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?» «Fuck no!» his mate replies. «Well,» says the first bloke, ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова religiousReligious — религиозный, верующий Перевод слова Early religious beliefs — религиозные представления в древности a religious ceremony — религиозный обряд he is not religious — он не верит в бога religious bigot — религиозный фанатик My Religious beliefs forbid the drinking of alcohol. Мои религиозные убеждения запрещают употреблять алкоголь. A poet and a profoundly Religious ... Читать далее...
34. A guy in a barThe bartender asks him «What’ll you have?». The guy answers, «A scotch, please». The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars», to which he replies «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this». A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, «You ... Читать далее...
35. A rather novel way toA policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. «So what’s going on here?» he asks. The bikie replies «My mate here has ... Читать далее...
36. A clear moralOne day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story. Suzy said, «Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive ... Читать далее...
37. Chaim escapes from a mental hospitalChaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, «Are you Jewish?» The man says, «No.» Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, «You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?» The man replies, «No!» ... Читать далее...
38. I don’t owe anything for this drinkThe bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, «What’ll you have?» The guy answers, «A scotch, please.» The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars,» to which the guy replies, «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.» A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, ... Читать далее...
39. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells himSaddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, «Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.» «What did it say on the banners?» Clinton asks. Saddam replies, «Allah is god, god is Allah.» Clinton says, «You know, Saddam, I ... Читать далее...
40. While attending a spelling session in school one dayWhile attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says «I can, I can» The teacher replies, «OK, go ahead Darla…» Darla replies…»D-U-M-B» The teacher replies, «very good», and «can you use that word in a sentence?» Darla replies, «Sure, ... Читать далее...