Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club

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1. Перевод слова club Club – клуб Перевод слова Tennis club – теннисный клуб nature-study club – клуб натуралистов-любителей to join a club – стать членом клуба Shall we go to a Club? Мы пойдем в клуб? You have to play a Club. Вы должны играть в клубе. I’ll see you at the Club. Увидимся в клубе....
2. A blonde goes for a job interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you […]...
3. Clinton country A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, “There’s a horses ass” A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said […]...
4. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. “But,” said the duffer, “since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.” The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with […]...
5. Значение идиомы Christmas club [Christmas club] {n.} A plan for putting money in the bank to be saved for Christmas shopping. John deposits $10 each week in the Christmas club. The woman will get her Christmas club money on December 10....
6. Перевод слова country Country – страна, местность, деревня Перевод слова Country of origin – страна происхождения country speech – просторечие country town – провинциальный город country bumpkin – деревенщина The two Countries have a lot in common. У этих двух стран много общего. I’m just a Country boy. Я простой деревенский парень. The Country is opposed to war. […]...
7. Listening to Club Music Anastasia: This is the best Club in the city. Grace brought me here last month. You’re going to love it. Joshua: What?! Anastasia: You’re going to love this club. It has the best DJ in town. She Spins the best Mixes. Joshua: Did you say you’re going to get us some Mixed drinks? Anastasia: No, […]...
8. Reaching the end of a job interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks […]...
9. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the […]...
10. Перевод слова educate Educate – обучать, воспитывать Перевод слова To educate the ear to music – развивать музыкальный слух to educate dogs – дрессировать собак educate for a profession – обучить профессии We must Educate our youngsters better. Мы должны лучше воспитывать нашу молодежь. Parents trust schools to Educate their children. Родители доверяют школе воспитание своих детей. To […]...
11. The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club. “Hey, baby, would you help me ‘raise my mast’?” “No thanks,” she said sweetly. “I heard about you from your ex and she included a ‘small craft’ warning.”...
12. One day the teacher decides to play an animal game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
13. UCLA Computer Club This one hasn’t come up despite the presence of UCLA on the net. I’m led to the sad conclusion that the tradition has died. In the mid ’70s, just before it was overrun by fanatic Dungeons Dragons ™ players, the UCLA Computer Club was host to a long series of “glitter traps.” Example: joke subject […]...
14. Unique job interviews Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate […]...
15. Body Language Топик Язык тела рассказывает о языке, которым владеют все, но не обращают на это внимания. А это очень важно, особенно при прохождении собеседования при приеме на новую работу. Те, кто проводит собеседование, в первую очередь обращают внимание на жесты и манеру поведения кандидата – именно они расскажут больше о характере человека, чем его слова и […]...
16. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
17. Helping this country One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the […]...
18. One night, at the lodge of a hunting club One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, “See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire – place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you’ll never forget.” […]...
19. Перевод слова interview Interview – интервью, собеседование Перевод слова To conduct an interview – проводить интервью to give an interview – давать интервью to obtain an interview – взять интервью taped interview – беседа, записанная на пленку telephone interview – собеседование по телефону We Interviewed the job candidates. Мы провели собеседование с соискателями. The Interview was conducted in […]...
20. Day care workers charged with running toddler’Fight Club’ Two employees of a New Jersey day care center instigated “Fight Club”-style brawls between the toddlers and shared footage of the pint-sized pugilists on Snapchat, prosecutors said Tuesday. Erica Kenny, 22, and Chanese White, 28, were criminally charged for allegedly staging tussles between kids ages 4 to 6 at Lightbridge Academy, in Cranford. “Approximately a […]...
21. Значение идиомы old country [old country] {n. phr.} Primarily Europe, but also any countryother than the United States where one originally came from. Al’swife was born in Chicago but Al himself is from the old country, Ireland....
22. Golf lessons A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!” “Well, what should I do?” asks […]...
23. This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she’s playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. “Oh, no! I […]...
24. Entering into Heaven A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?” The man says, “Methodist.” St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.” Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion?” “Baptist.” “Go to room 18, but be very quiet […]...
25. The Comedy Club On Friday night, I went with a group of friends from work to a comedy club. I don’t really like Sketch comedy, but I do like Stand-up, and the comedian who was going to perform there was one of my favorites. There were six of us and we were a pretty Rowdy group. We stood […]...
26. Перевод слова proper Proper – присущий, свойственный; правильный, надлежащий Перевод слова Feelings proper to mankind – чувства, присущие человеку in the proper way – надлежащим образом proper word – подходящее слово I want our lass to have a Proper education. Я хочу, чтобы наша девочка получила настоящее образование. You need to eat a Proper meal instead of junk […]...
27. Save the country A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, “I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could “I” possibly do to save the country?” Mrs. Clinton: “Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit…”...
28. Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself to Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, “What is your IQ?” to which the man answers, “241.” “That is wonderful!,” says Albert. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!” Next Albert introduces himself […]...
29. Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), “So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do? “I study the Torah,” he replies. “But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are going to feed and house her?” “No problem,” […]...
30. It was during a ball at Andrew Jackson country home It was during a ball at Andrew Jackson’s country home that the family physician approached Mrs. Jackson to say, “You’re looking wonderful tonite, Rachel! What keeps you so radiant and effervescent?” “Having such a popular husband, of course.” “Surely there must be more to it than that, madam.” “Well, there’s Old Hickory’s dickery, doc.”...
31. A ventriloquist was driving in the country A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he’d have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the […]...
32. On a cross-country bus trip On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due to motion sickness. She make her way to the restroom, only to find it locked. She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right and threw up on […]...
33. Attending an Auction Diane: This is so exciting! I’ve never been to an Auction before. Martin: Sit down. It’s about to start. The Auctioneer is on the Podium with her Gavel and she’s ready to start the Bidding. Diane: Are you bidding on the first Lot? Martin: No, the Reserve is too high. See? The Opening bid is […]...
34. Attending an Auction Diane: This is so exciting! I’ve never been to an Auction before. Martin: Sit down. It’s about to start. The Auctioneer is on the Podium with her Gavel and she’s ready to start the Bidding. Diane: Are you bidding on the first Lot? Martin: No, the Reserve is too high. See? The Opening bid is […]...
35. A city boy was visiting the country and A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy […]...
36. Paying an Employee Under the Table Martin: I’m confused. I’ve been Going over the books and I don’t see several members of the Staff listed and Accounted for. Jina: Oh, I have a special arrangement with a few of them. I pay them Under the table. Martin: Are you sure that’s wise? You could Get busted for Tax evasion. Jina: No […]...
37. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
38. English Country-Side England looks like a great well-ordered park. The hedges surrounding the gardens look beautiful in spring. In summer when they are covered with leaves and flowers they are even better. In autumn they are gold, brown and red. In winter they are still beautiful, especially in the early winter when you can see a few […]...
39. Loan Forgiveness Programs Martin: One hundred eleven days And counting. Georgina: Are you Counting down To something? Martin: I’m counting down to the day when my Student loans will be Discharged. I only took this job because it Qualifies for the Loan forgiveness program. Georgina: But you’ve worked here for over two years already. You mean you’ve been […]...
40. Filming a TV Show or Movie Martin: Okay, quiet on the Set! What are the Extras doing over there? They’re not in this Scene. Stephanie: Sorry, I’ll get them off the set. Is this the Lighting you wanted for this scene? If not, I can tell the lighting Crew. Martin: The lighting is fine, but this Staging is all wrong. And […]...