IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS

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1. Good news and bad news The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife’s bedroom. “Kid’s……there’s good news and bad news.” “The bad news is your mother’s strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago” “The good news […]...
2. Пословица / поговорка no news is good news – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: no news is good news Перевод: отсутствие вестей – хорошая весть Пример: Although the woman had not heard from her son for several weeks, she believed that no news is good news and she did not worry. Хотя женщина и не получала известий от своего сына несколько недель, она считала, что отсутствие […]...
3. The bad news and the good news Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for […]...
4. Пословица / поговорка bad news travels fast / bad news has wings – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: bad news travels fast / bad news has wings Перевод: плохая молва на крыльях летит Эквивалент в русском языке: худые вести не лежат на месте Пример: Bad news travels fast and the man heard about the job layoffs a week before the official announcement. Плохая молва на крыльях летит, и мужчина услышал […]...
5. Перевод слова news News – новости, хроника Перевод слова What’s the news? – что нового? here is an interesting piece of news – вот интересная новость latest news – последние известия We heard that item on the late News. Мы услышали об этом в последнем выпуске новостей. That is no News. Это уже всем известно Pass the News […]...
6. Good news Hiram answers the telephone, and it’s an emergency room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator the rest of her life.” […]...
7. Bad news and awful news One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads “I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”. Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “I hope you get impeached” […]...
8. Reading and Watching the News I’m a news Junkie. I like to read two newspapers everyday. I don’t just look at the Headlines. I read most of the stories. I like the Political news, the Business news, the Editorials, and the Entertainment news. The only things I don’t usually read are the Sports pages and the Classifieds. I also try […]...
9. Moscow News Топик Московские новости рассказывает об истории создания и развития знаменитой газеты “Московские новости” на английском и русском языках, известную каждому изучающему английский язык. Из этой газеты можно узнать обо всем, что происходит в России, Москве, других странах мира. В газете много интересных рубрик и рекламы. “Moscow News” is a national weekly newspaper. The first issue […]...
10. Значение идиомы bad news [bad news] {n.}, {slang} An event, thing, or person which is disagreeable or an unpleasant surprise. What’s the new professor like? – He’s all bad news to me....
11. Reporting the News I have always wanted to be a News reporter. When I was about 10 years old, I would write my own news stories and Publish them in my own newspaper. In reality, the newspaper was just a piece of paper on which I’d written my stories and drew my pictures, but it was My first […]...
12. Перевод сленгового выражения bad news, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: bad news Перевод: что-либо или кто-либо, доставляющий неприятности, трудности, хлопоты Пример: He’s bad news, you shouldn’t hang around with him. От него много неприятностей, не стоит с ним водиться....
13. Liberal and Conservative News Bill: Why are you reading that Rag? Rachel: I enjoy reading it. I like its News coverage and its Incisive commentaries. Bill: That’s nothing but a Liberal propaganda rag. You can’t believe a thing they Print in there. Rachel: That’s not true. The news stories are Objective and Unbiased. This magazine isn’t like the newspapers […]...
14. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He […]...
15. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
16. Перевод идиомы break the news (to someone), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: break the news (to someone) Перевод: сообщать кому-либо какие-либо новости, известия Пример: He is planning to break the news about his transfer tomorrow. Он собирается рассказать о своем переводе завтра....
17. Strange headline news The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
18. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
19. The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian […]...
20. These two guys are car pooling home from work one day These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on someone’s front lawn. “Look”, he shouts “What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?” The […]...
21. Giving Bad News and Condolences I was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid […]...
22. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proud physician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You […]...
23. The wedding is offno on! All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and […]...
24. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to […]...
25. An effective contraceptive After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called […]...
26. The Latest Breaking News on the GoodTimes Virus It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very dangerous after all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all […]...
27. Перевод слова beer Beer – пиво Перевод слова Ginger beer – имбирное пиво to brew beer – варить пиво beer bust – пивное сборище I’d like a Beer now! Мне бы пива сейчас! He drank a jar of Beer. Он выпил банку пива. I’ll have a Beer, please. Мне пива, пожалуйста....
28. Satirical site The Onion is now worth more than most of the real news outlets it mocks SATIRICAL NEWS SITE The Onion – known for headlines like’World Death Rate Holding Steady at 100 Percent’ – has been valued at half a billion dollars, more than most of the news outlets it exists to mock. The biggest Spanish-language broadcaster in the US, Univision Communications, announced it has taken a 40% and controlling stake […]...
29. Good girls vs. Bad girls Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls blush during […]...
30. Перевод слова drug Drug – медикамент, лекарство, наркотик Перевод слова Drug administration – применение лекарств drug plant – лекарственное растение to take drugs – принимать наркотики He has a Drug addiction. У него наркотическая зависимость. This Drug aggravates the pain. Этот препарат усиливает боль. The Drug should be taken orally. Препарат следует принимать внутрь....
31. Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin…….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year […]...
32. Bad news A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever […]...
33. Dating Nice Guys and Bad Boys Jack: I’ve had it. I’m going to start Treating women like dirt. I’d get more dates. Alison: What brought this on? Jack: I Got dumped again by a woman who thinks I’m too nice – too nice! She says she wants to be with someone who’s more Assertive and Unpredictable. She didn’t say it In […]...
34. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
35. A Drunk Scottsman There was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. […]...
36. Перевод идиомы strings attached, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: strings attached Перевод: обязательства, условия Пример: My friend was able to borrow the money for the furniture with no strings attached. Моему другу удалось занять денег на мебель без обязательств. There were several strings attached to the offer. В предложении было несколько условий....
37. Sports is Important in Our Life – Спорт важен в нашей жизни Sport is very important in our life. It is popular among young and old people. Many people do morning exercises, jog in the morning and train themselves in clubs, in different sections and take part in sport competitions. Other people like sports too, but they only watch sports games, listen to sports news. They prefer […]...
38. Watching the TV News Anchor: Good evening. I’m Gary Singh and this is the evening news. Tonight, we’ll have a Special report from our Field reporter, Monique Sanders, on the Latest developments In the Eddie Litton court case. And in our Feature segment, we’ll go to Arizona To interview the world’s fattest dog, weighing 210 pounds! We’ll also have […]...
39. Important thoughts *Question: What is one horsepower? *Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. *You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it you got hit, so never mind. *Talc is found on […]...
40. Значение идиомы behind bars [behind bars] {adv. phr.} In jail; in prison. He was a pickpocket and had spent many years behind bars. That boy is always in trouble and will end up behind bars....