HOW TO COOK A TURKEY!

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1. Dinner prepared by kids A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette – Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell – Turkey You cut the […]...
2. The pro football turkey The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive […]...
3. The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with […]...
4. Перевод слова oven Oven – печь, духовка Перевод слова To turn off an oven – выключить духовку slack fire in the oven – слабый огонь в печи to unseal the oven – открыть духовку oven glove – прихватка Bake the cookies in a hot Oven. Выпекайте печенье в горячей духовке. My bread is baked in my own Oven. […]...
5. Man needs a turkey It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. “Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.” “Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see […]...
6. Значение идиомы cold turkey [cold turkey] {adv.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Abruptly and without medical aid to withdraw from the use of an addictive drug or from a serious drinking problem. Joe is a very brave guy; he kicked the habit cold turkey. 2. {n.} An instance of withdrawal from drugs, alcohol, or cigarette smoking. Joe did a cold turkey....
7. Значение идиомы talk turkey [talk turkey] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk about something in areally businesslike way; talk with the aim of getting things done. Charles said, “Now, let’s talk turkey about the bus trip. The factis, it will cost each student $1.50.” The father always spokegently to his son, but when the son broke the windshield of the […]...
8. Перевод слова thermometer Thermometer – термометр, градусник Перевод слова Clinical thermometer – медицинский термометр thermometer reading – показания термометра thermometer pocket – гильза для термометра The Thermometer is low. Ртутный столбик в термометре упал. The Thermometer recorded 90 degrees. Термометр показал 90 градусов. The Thermometer has risen to above 32. Температура перевалила за плюс 32. rel=”nofollow”>...
9. Перевод сленгового выражения go cold turkey, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: go cold turkey Перевод: резко, полностью покончить с дурной привычкой (наркотиками, алкоголем, и т. п.) Пример: I decided to go cold turkey and quit smoking. Я решил резко бросить курить....
10. Перевод идиомы talk turkey, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: talk turkey Перевод: говорить прямо; говорить начистоту, без обиняков, откровенно Пример: “Now you’re talking turkey. Let’s finish and go home.” Вот теперь ты говоришь прямо. Давай заканчивать и пошли домой....
11. Turkey Turkey is a very beautiful, historical, and interesting country with many ancient attractions. The culture of Turkey takes its roots from the Ottoman Empire. Straddling many countries, Turkey is the bridge between Europe and Asia. 75 million people live there. Turkey has many cities with ancient history, and largest and arguably the most beautiful city […]...
12. I trying to prove a point A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says “I want you […]...
13. Значение идиомы nuke a tater [nuke a tater] {v. phr.} 1. To bake a potato in a microwave oven. “We have no time for standard baked potatoes in the oven,” she said.”We’ll just have to nuke a tater.”...
14. Spirits in Ireland Топик Ирландский алкоголь расскажет об истории ирландского виски и ирландского пива “Гиннесс”. Если сравнить между собой шотландский виски и ирландский, то между ними будет разница. И вот еще один очень интересный лингвистический факт: даже слово “виски” в Шотландии и Ирландии пишутся по-разному. Здесь даже приводится рецепт “кофе по-ирландски” и вы, конечно, сможете его правильно приготовить, […]...
15. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
16. Who’s got my pen? A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to ‘write’ with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, “Well that’s great, just great… some asshole’s got my pen.”...
17. A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move – I’ll be right back.” When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t […]...
18. Перевод слова pour Pour – литься, лить Перевод слова To pour oil on flames – подлить масла в огонь to pour oil on the troubled waters – успокаивать, утихомиривать to pour slabs – заливать бетонное покрытие Pour me some coffee. Налейте мне кофе. Suddenly rain Poured down. Внезапно хлынул дождь. She Poured me a cup of tea. Она […]...
19. A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:”Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry. Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped him:”What’s going on out there?” […]...
20. Christmas Cookie Ingredients 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Absolute vodka Sample the Absolute to check quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Absolute again, to be sure it is of the highest […]...
21. Types of Non-alcoholic Drinks Asa: What can I get you to drink? Elizabeth: I’ll have a glass of water, thanks. Asa: Are you sure you don’t want something else? I have Soft drinks, Orange juice, Lemonade, and Fruit punch. Elizabeth: No, thanks. I’m trying to cut back on my Sugar intake. Asa: In that case, how about an Energy […]...
22. A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he’ll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response: “Go stand on the corner for […]...
23. Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it […]...
24. Being Clumsy Edward: Would you dance with me? Bella: Me? I’d like to, but I don’t dance. Edward: Why? Bella: I Have two left feet. I’m so Clumsy, first I’d step all over your feet, and then I’d Stumble all over the dance floor. Edward: I don’t believe that. I bet you’re very Graceful on the dance […]...
25. Значение идиомы out of step [out of step] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Not in step; not matchingstrides or keeping pace with another or others. George alwaysmarches out of step with the music. 2. Out of harmony; not keepingup. – Often followed by “with”. Just because you don’t smoke, itdoesn’t mean you are out of step with other boys and […]...
26. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.” “I don’t mean […]...
27. Перевод слова stick Stick – палка; втыкать, вонзать; наклеивать Перевод слова To stick a spade into the earth – воткнуть лопату в землю to stick a nail into the wall – вбить гвоздь в стену fencing stick – фехтовальная палка to stick bills – расклеивать афиши He seized a Stick and struck at me. Он схватил палку и […]...
28. There was an old married couple that had happily There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she […]...
29. Clean St. Patrick’s Day Humor In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. “Four glasses of ale,” was the reply. “Next?” “Two glasses of whiskey.” “Next?” “One glass of brandy.” “Next?” “A fight.” In West Kerry, the wife commented, “When […]...
30. Значение идиомы step on it [step on it] or [step on the gas] {v. phr.} 1. To push down on thegas pedal to make a car go faster. Be very careful when you step onthe gas. Don’t go too fast. Compare: GIVE IT THE GUN. 2. {informal}To go faster; hurry. Step on it, or we’ll be late for school. John […]...
31. Top ten signs that you are too drunk 10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth. 9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. 8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt. 6. You can focus better with one eye closed. 5. […]...
32. A glass of water Tell someone you can pin a glass of water to the wall – a real glass, not a paper cup, using an ordinary straight pin. Naturally they won’t believe, so you set out to prove it. Get a glass of water and a pin. Hold the glass up to the wall and start to pin […]...
33. Перевод слова floor Floor – пол, настил, этаж Перевод слова Dirt floor – земляной пол to live on the same floor – жить на одном этаже floor paint – краска для пола Please sweep the Floor. Пожалуйста, подмети пол. He lay flat on the Floor. Он лежал плашмя на полу. We took the lift to the tenth Floor. […]...
34. Значение идиомы countdown [countdown] {n.}. {Space English}, {informal} 1. A step-by-step process which leads to the launching of a rocket. Countdown starts at 23:00 hours tomorrow night and continues for 24 hours. 2. Process of counting inversely during the acts leading to a launch; liftoff occurs at zero. 3. The time immediately preceding an important undertaking, borrowed from […]...
35. He is a very fast drinker A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and […]...
36. Значение идиомы stick together [stick together] {v.} To remain close together in a situation. Stick together in the cave so that no one gets lost. The gangstuck together after the game. Bill and Bob stick together in agame or in a fight. Syn.: HANG TOGETHER....
37. A man walks into a pub The following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, “cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! – I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.” The man takes his whiskey and downs it. “Same again?” asks the barman. “Okay” […]...
38. The fruit cake recipie You’ll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky. Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the […]...
39. A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little […]...
40. Значение идиомы off the wagon [off the wagon] {adj. phr.}, {slang} No longer refusing to drinkwhiskey or other alcoholic beverages; drinking liquor again, afterstopping for a while. When a heavy drinker quits he must reallyquit. One little drink of whiskey is enough to drive him off thewagon. Contrast: ON THE WAGON....