HOW TO COOK A TURKEY!

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1. The pro football turkeyThe pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive ... Читать далее...
2. Dinner prepared by kidsA Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette — Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell — Turkey You cut the ... Читать далее...
3. Man needs a turkeyIt’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. «Please let me in,» says the man desperately. «I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.» «Okay,» says the butcher. «Let me see ... Читать далее...
4. WhiskeyТопик Виски рассказывает про историю алкогольного напитка виски. Шотландские кельты называли его водой жизни. Вы узнаете о производстве виски, о том, насколько разным бывает виски в разных странах. Whiskey (from the Gaelic for «water of life»), spirituous liquor distilled from a fermented mash of grains, usually rye, barley, oats, wheat, or corn. Inferior whiskeys are ... Читать далее...
5. A man walks into a pubThe following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, «cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! — I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.» The man takes his whiskey and downs it. «Same again?» asks the barman. «Okay» ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова cookCook — готовить, стряпать; повар Перевод слова To keep a cook — иметь повара to cook meat — готовить мясо to cook accounts — подделать счета My husband doesn’t Cook. Мой муж не готовит. I promised I’d Cook for them. Я обещал, что буду готовить для них. I’m a hopeless Cook. Я безнадежный кулинар....
7. Spirits in IrelandТопик Ирландский алкоголь расскажет об истории ирландского виски и ирландского пива «Гиннесс». Если сравнить между собой шотландский виски и ирландский, то между ними будет разница. И вот еще один очень интересный лингвистический факт: даже слово «виски» в Шотландии и Ирландии пишутся по-разному. Здесь даже приводится рецепт «кофе по-ирландски» и вы, конечно, сможете его правильно приготовить, ... Читать далее...
8. I trying to prove a pointA man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says «I want you ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы cold turkey[cold turkey] {adv.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Abruptly and without medical aid to withdraw from the use of an addictive drug or from a serious drinking problem. Joe is a very brave guy; he kicked the habit cold turkey. 2. {n.} An instance of withdrawal from drugs, alcohol, or cigarette smoking. Joe did a cold turkey....
10. Значение идиомы talk turkey[talk turkey] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk about something in areally businesslike way; talk with the aim of getting things done. Charles said, «Now, let’s talk turkey about the bus trip. The factis, it will cost each student $1.50.» The father always spokegently to his son, but when the son broke the windshield of the ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова ovenOven — печь, духовка Перевод слова To turn off an oven — выключить духовку slack fire in the oven — слабый огонь в печи to unseal the oven — открыть духовку oven glove — прихватка Bake the cookies in a hot Oven. Выпекайте печенье в горячей духовке. My bread is baked in my own Oven. ... Читать далее...
12. IndicatorA businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender ... Читать далее...
13. TurkeyTurkey is a very beautiful, historical, and interesting country with many ancient attractions. The culture of Turkey takes its roots from the Ottoman Empire. Straddling many countries, Turkey is the bridge between Europe and Asia. 75 million people live there. Turkey has many cities with ancient history, and largest and arguably the most beautiful city ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод сленгового выражения go cold turkey, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: go cold turkey Перевод: резко, полностью покончить с дурной привычкой (наркотиками, алкоголем, и т. п.) Пример: I decided to go cold turkey and quit smoking. Я решил резко бросить курить....
15. Перевод идиомы talk turkey, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: talk turkey Перевод: говорить прямо; говорить начистоту, без обиняков, откровенно Пример: «Now you’re talking turkey. Let’s finish and go home.» Вот теперь ты говоришь прямо. Давай заканчивать и пошли домой....
16. Значение идиомы short-order cook[short-order cook] {n.} A person who prepares food that cooksquickly. Bruce found a summer job as a short-order cook in adrive-in restaurant. The new diner needs another short-ordercook. Compare: SLING HASH....
17. Alter thanksgiving day1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, «See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing.» 2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, «I’m thankful I didn’t get caught» and ... Читать далее...
18. ThanksgivingThanksgiving reminds us to be Grateful, but for a lot of people, the holiday also means a weekend of eating a lot and watching football. And, my family is No exception. My family likes to have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner each year. We invite people from our Extended family. We also invite close friends, especially ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова degreeDegree — степень, уровень, градус Перевод слова Degree of complexity — степень сложности in some degree — в некоторой степени academic degree — научная степень The Degree of risk is minimal. Степень риска минимальна. Preheat the oven to 425 Degrees. Предварительно разогрейте духовку до 425 градусов. Applicants must have a Degree in Engineering. Кандидаты должны ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод идиомы cook one’s goose, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cook one’s goose Идиома: cook one’s goose разг. Перевод: погубить кого-либо; потерять шансы на что-либо Пример: The girl cooked her goose and has no chance of getting the new job. Девушка сама себя погубила и потеряла шанс получить новую работу....
21. A man walks into a bar and orders two drinksA man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what’s going on. «Why are you pouring that drink on your hand»? ... Читать далее...
22. Going to Happy HourGary: Hey, over here. I’m glad you could make it. This place has a great Happy hour. Let me get the waitress, Brenda, so we can order our drinks. Shanise: Hi, Gary. You sound like a Regular. Do you come here a lot? Gary: Yeah, I like Stopping by on my way home Now and ... Читать далее...
23. A guy in a barThe bartender asks him «What’ll you have?». The guy answers, «A scotch, please». The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars», to which he replies «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this». A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, «You ... Читать далее...
24. How many does it take?Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a «good time.» ... Читать далее...
25. I don’t owe anything for this drinkThe bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, «What’ll you have?» The guy answers, «A scotch, please.» The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars,» to which the guy replies, «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.» A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы cook up[cook up] {v.}, {informal} To plan and put together; make up; invent. The boys cooked up an excuse to explain their absence from school....
27. Cook James — Джеймс КукJames Cook was born in Yorkshire on Oct. 27, 1728, into a poor family. At the age of 18 he found employment with a shipowner in his native village of Whitby and made several voyages to the Baltic Sea. When the Anglo-French war broke out in 1755, he enlisted in the Royal Navy and saw ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы cook one’s goose[cook one’s goose] {v. phr.}, {slang} To ruin someone hopelessly; destroy one’s future expectations or good name. The bank treasurer cooked his own goose when he stole the bank’s funds. She cooked John’s goose by reporting what she knew to the police. The dishonest official knew his goose was cooked when the newspapers printed the ... Читать далее...
29. Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavernTim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said «Mike, I’ll be havin’ three whiskeys.» Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. «Now, Timothy, it’s not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It’s celebratin’, you are. «Ahh, ye know me ... Читать далее...
30. A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digestedA pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:»Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry. Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped him:»What’s going on out there?» ... Читать далее...
31. Types of Non-alcoholic DrinksAsa: What can I get you to drink? Elizabeth: I’ll have a glass of water, thanks. Asa: Are you sure you don’t want something else? I have Soft drinks, Orange juice, Lemonade, and Fruit punch. Elizabeth: No, thanks. I’m trying to cut back on my Sugar intake. Asa: In that case, how about an Energy ... Читать далее...
32. Clean St. Patrick’s Day JokesAn Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, «Oy vey! What a wreck!» The priest asks him, «Are you all right, Rabbi?» The Rabbi responds, «Just a little shaken.» The priest pulls a ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы third degree[third degree] {n. phr.} A method of severe grilling used toextract information from an arrested suspect. «Why give me thethird degree?» he asked indignantly. «All I did was come home latebecause I had a drink with my friends.»...
34. Перевод слова gooseGoose — гусь; дурак, простофиля Перевод слова Flock of geese — стадо гусей we had goose for dinner — на обед у нас была гусятина don’t-be such a goose — не будь таким простофилей The Goose is in the oven, sputtering fat. Гусь шкворчит в духовке. The other day I saw a Goose in white ... Читать далее...
35. The Eighteen BottlesI had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else… I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with ... Читать далее...
36. Free drinks for everyoneOne night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: «Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.» So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: «That will be $36.50 please.» The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next ... Читать далее...
37. Please show the I. DThe following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы out of step[out of step] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Not in step; not matchingstrides or keeping pace with another or others. George alwaysmarches out of step with the music. 2. Out of harmony; not keepingup. — Often followed by «with». Just because you don’t smoke, itdoesn’t mean you are out of step with other boys and ... Читать далее...
39. A well laid out plan«First,» said the playboy, «I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.» «Oh no you’re not,» said the girl. «Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.» «Oh no you’re not.» «Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.» ... Читать далее...
40. Clean St. Patrick’s Day HumorIn hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. «Four glasses of ale,» was the reply. «Next?» «Two glasses of whiskey.» «Next?» «One glass of brandy.» «Next?» «A fight.» In West Kerry, the wife commented, «When ... Читать далее...