Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sitting

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1. Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game ofBill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, «No, Mr. President! I said, Throw the first PITCH!»...
2. Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physicalHillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: «How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on ... Читать далее...
3. Bill and Hillary are at a restaurantBill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,» Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?» he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,» Hillary replies....
4. Hillary goes to heavenHillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says «Hillary, I know you’re ‘somebody’ down on Earth, but up here, you’re just another person. And, I’m swamped right now, so have a seat and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can.» So Hillary sits down ... Читать далее...
5. Bill Clinton’s haircutBefore his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, «How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?» Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him ... Читать далее...
6. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball gamePresident Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, «Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!». She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks ... Читать далее...
7. Hillary ClintonDuring the 1992 presidential campaign, Hillary Rodham Clinton observed, «Our lives are a mixture of different roles. Most of us are doing the best we can to find whatever the right balance is… For me, that balance is family, work, and service.» Hillary Diane Rodham, Dorothy and Hugh Rodham’s first child, was born on October ... Читать далее...
8. Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunchBill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, «Are you ready to order?» Clinton replies, «Yes, I’d like a quickie.» «A quickie?!?» the waitress replies. «Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is ... Читать далее...
9. Bill Clinton Statue Committee1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208 Dear Friend; We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D. C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was ... Читать далее...
10. Candidate Clinton vs President ClintonCandidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the ... Читать далее...
11. The definition of sexHillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea’s college experiences. Hillary: So have you found dating to be fullflling experience? Chelsea: It’s okay..but i don’t like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds. Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not ... Читать далее...
12. Биография Билла Клинтона на английском языке. Biography of William Clinton / Bill ClintonDuring the administration of William Jefferson Clinton, the U. S. enjoyed more peace and economic well being than at any time in its history. He was the first Democratic president since Franklin D. Roosevelt to win a second term. He could point to the lowest unemployment rate in modern times, the lowest inflation in 30 ... Читать далее...
13. Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells himSaddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, «Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.» «What did it say on the banners?» Clinton asks. Saddam replies, «Allah is god, god is Allah.» Clinton says, «You know, Saddam, I ... Читать далее...
14. President Clinton, returning from a campaign stopPresident Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip — a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. «I’d salute ... Читать далее...
15. Clinton is vacationingLast summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. ... Читать далее...
16. Acronyms for ClintonClinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation’s (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies Gore: (G)ennifer’s (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise Gore: (G)reatly ... Читать далее...
17. Clinton countryA guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, «There’s a horses ass» A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said ... Читать далее...
18. The Hillary’s roomPresident Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary’s room. She complains that it’s the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President—I’ll remove the mirrors right away....
19. Clinton is in HeavenPresident Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «It’s me, Bill Clinton». «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and answered, «Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit ... Читать далее...
20. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf gameBill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an ... Читать далее...
21. One day Clinton goes to the bathroomOne day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, «I cant figure out what it is. So I’ll give you some medicine, and if it doesn’t work, ... Читать далее...
22. Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly GatesClinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. «Who goes there?» inquired St. Peter. «‘It’s me, Bill Clinton.» «And what do you want?» asked St. Peter. «Lemme in!» replied Clinton. «Soooo,» pondered Peter. «What bad things did you do on earth?» Clinton thought a bit and ... Читать далее...
23. Clinton at the paradeThe May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992’s parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had ... Читать далее...
24. One day there were these three boys walking downOne day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’ When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. ... Читать далее...
25. Comments of HillaryReporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife’s comment the other day about how «Hitler was really a great guy»? Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype ... Читать далее...
26. Bad news and awful newsOne morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads «I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD». Bill calls the FBI and says «Someone has written «I hope you get impeached» ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод идиомы fill the bill / fit the bill, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: fill the bill / fit the bill Перевод: быть приемлемым, подходящим; быть тем, что надо; удовлетворять требованиям Пример: I think that the new equipment should fill the bill for us. Мне кажется, что новое оборудование должно быть как раз тем, что нам нужно....
28. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each otherA Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window ... Читать далее...
29. Punishment in hellA man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, «Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.» ... Читать далее...
30. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
31. Bad luck finding a place to hideA small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, «Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight.» The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink ... Читать далее...
32. Fake two dollar billOn my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a ... Читать далее...
33. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bedLittle Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, «Whatcha doin’ Daddy?» Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. «Oh, I’m just ... Читать далее...
34. A letter to John HinkleyMr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D. C. Dear John, Hillary and I just wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is ... Читать далее...
35. A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flyingA Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: «Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова billBill — счет; законопроект Перевод слова Payable bills — счета, подлежащие оплате private bill — законопроект, имеющий местное значение hotel bill — счет за проживание в гостинице The Bill was carried. Законопроект был принят. The Bill runs to $100. Счет составляет 100 долларов. The Bill is in abeyance. Обсуждения этого законопроекта приостановлено. Примеры из жизни ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова helicopterHelicopter — вертолет Перевод слова To pilot a helicopter — вести, пилотировать вертолет to fly a helicopter — лететь на вертолете helicopter engineering — вертолетостроение A Helicopter suddenly swooped down. Вертолет неожиданно начал терять высоту. There were three deaths due to Helicopter crashes. Три человека погибли в результате крушений вертолетов. A Helicopter was circling around, ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы fill the bill[fill the bill] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be just what is needed; begood enough for something; be just right. The boss was worriedabout hiring a deaf boy, but after he tried Tom out for a few weeks, he said that Tom filled the bill. I thought I would need a specialtool, but this wrench fills ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы pad the bill[pad the bill] {v. phr.} To add false expenses to a bill; make abill larger than it really was. The salesman padded the bill forhis traveling expenses by exaggerating his food expenses....
40. Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationshipProsecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had....