Ex-Police car joke

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1. Значение идиомы drag race[drag race] {n.}, {slang} An automobile race in which the drivers try to cover a certain distance in the shortest possible time. Drag races are often held on airport landing strips. Holding drag races is a good way to stop teenage hot rod racing on public highways. Compare: DRAG STRIP....
2. Значение идиомы drag strip[drag strip] {n.}, {slang} A place where drag races are held. Before the race Paul loaded his racer onto the trailer to take it out of town to the drag strip for the race. Compare: DRAG RACE....
3. Значение идиомы local yokel[local yokel] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s hand radio jargon} Citypolice officer, as opposed to state police or highway patrol. There’s a local yokel westbound on the move....
4. Police chief hates youTen Signs The Police Chief Hates You 10. He sends you on drug raids….alone. 9. He refers to you as «Our Little Mascot.» 8. The job description in your contract includes «crash test dummy» and «pepper-spray test subject.» 7. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol. 6. He always tells you that ... Читать далее...
5. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
6. I got a great Polish jokeA guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, «Hey, I got this great Polish Joke…» The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: «Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of ... Читать далее...
7. They’re Boasting about Race RecordsSome race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. «In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!» Another horse breaks in, «Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!» «Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!», says another, flicking ... Читать далее...
8. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
9. A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-weekA guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says «OK,» and goes to the pharmacy to buy ... Читать далее...
10. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
11. An effective contraceptiveAfter having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called ... Читать далее...
12. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotelBerkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. «Bartender,» he says, «give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.» When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her ... Читать далее...
13. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
14. A young bloke has started work on a propertyA young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. «I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a ... Читать далее...
15. College bar jokeWhen I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова dragDrag — тянуть, тащить; обуза, помеха Перевод слова Drag coefficient — коэффициент сопротивления a heavy drag uphill — трудный подъем в гору to be a drag on smb.’s career — мешать чьей-л. карьере He Dragged the big suitcase behind him. Он тащил за собой большой чемодан. The speech Dragged on for two hours. Выступление затянулось ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова beerBeer — пиво Перевод слова Ginger beer — имбирное пиво to brew beer — варить пиво beer bust — пивное сборище I’d like a Beer now! Мне бы пива сейчас! He drank a jar of Beer. Он выпил банку пива. I’ll have a Beer, please. Мне пива, пожалуйста....
18. Значение идиомы hit the high spots[hit the high spots] {v. phr.} To consider, mention, or see onlythe more important parts of something such as a book, war, or schoolcourse. In his lecture, the speaker hit the high spots of hissubject. The first course in general science hits only the highspots of the physical sciences. The Bakers went to the fair ... Читать далее...
19. Who keeps saying those thingsA man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively «You’ve got great hair!» The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer. A minute later, he heard ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы nurse a drink[nurse a drink] {v. phr.}, {informal} To hold a drink in one’s handat a party, pretending to be drinking it or taking extremely smallsips only. John’s been nursing that drink all evening....
21. Texas Police Hit Organic Farm With Massive SWAT RaidA small organic farm in Arlington, Texas, was the target of a massive police action last week that included aerial surveillance, a SWAT raid and a 10-hour search. Members of the local police raiding party had a search warrant for marijuana plants, which they failed to find at the Garden of Eden farm. But farm ... Читать далее...
22. Фразовые глаголы с «HOLD»Hold all the cards — иметь преимущество hold back — скрывать hold down — придерживать hold in — проводить hold in check — сдерживать hold it — стой! подожди!; постой! hold on — держи(те)сь!; подожди(те) hold out — протягивать, вытягивать hold over — откладывать hold that — считать, что hold up — нападать, поднимать...
23. Значение идиомы shore patrol[shore patrol] {n.} The police of a navy. The sailors who werefighting in town were arrested by the shore patrol. The shorepatrol was ordered to search every sailor who went on board the ship....
24. A difficult golf gameRobert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, «What took you so long?» The guy says, «That was the worst game of golf I’ve ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack.» ... Читать далее...
25. IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARSMen, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims ... Читать далее...
26. How many does it take?Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a «good time.» ... Читать далее...
27. If she went out with meA man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы main drag[main drag] {n.}, {colloquial} 1. The most important street orthoroughfare in a town. Lincoln Avenue is the main drag of ourtown. 2. The street where the dope pushers and the prostitutes are. Wells Street is the main drag of Chicago, actionwise....
29. Перевод сленгового выражения drag queen, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: drag queen Сленговое выражение: drag queen груб. Перевод: мужчина-гомосексуалист, который одевается как женщина Пример: The drag queens on the subway are wearing gold dresses! Гомосексуалисты в метро носят платья золотого цвета!...
30. Hiding from the PoliceI read an article in the newspaper this morning about a man who had been On the lam for 12 years. He was Wanted by the police because they believed he had committed a murder. But before the man could go to trial, he Bolted and left the country. He has been on the “Most ... Читать далее...
31. The hunting seasonThis truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying «NERDS NOT ALLOWED — ENTER AT OWN RISK!» He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks ... Читать далее...
32. A nun arrives at the local barJohn was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. «You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!» Now John ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы drag in[drag in] {v.} To insist on bringing into a discussion; begin talking about No matter what we talk about, Jim drags in politics. Whenever anyone mentions travel, Grace has to drag in the trip to Mexico she took ten years ago....
34. Working on the roadA fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then ... Читать далее...
35. Denton Police establishes Internet Purchase Exchange LocationDenton police officers are hoping a new Internet Purchase Exchange Location at the Farmers Market on Salisbury Street will make for safer transactions. Denton police officers are hoping a new Internet Purchase Exchange Location at the Farmers Market on Salisbury Street will make for safer transactions. Denton Police Chief Mark Hicks said his department established ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы drag on the market[drag on the market] {n. phr.} An article for which the demand has fallen off thus causing an oversupply. Your type of word processor went out of style and is now a drag on the market....
37. Police salvage blind Trish Vickers’ inkless novel pagesTrish Vicars who wrote 26 pages of her book before realising her pen had ran out of ink. When blind writer Trish Vickers failed to notice her pen had run out of ink Dorset Police made a real impression on her. The boys in blue came to her rescue and recovered 26 pages of her ... Читать далее...
38. Police Work Isn’t as Dangerous as You May ThinkAfter the senseless death and tragic funerals of two young New York City policeman, cops have got to be thinking about assassination. «I want to go home to my wife and kids,» said a cop to the New York Post.» I am concerned about my safety.» On NBC’s Meet the Press,» NYC Police Commissioner William ... Читать далее...
39. An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise shipAn old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: «Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова drinkDrink — пить, напиток Перевод слова Long drink — стакан пива in drink — пьяный; в пьяном виде to drink air — жадно глотать воздух Oh for a Drink! Ах, как хочется пить! I need a Drink. Мне надо выпить. I owe you a Drink. Я должен тебе выпивку....