Dealing with criminals

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1. Перевод слова acid Acid – кислота Перевод слова Acid looks – кислая мина acid green – ярко-зеленый lactic acid fermentation – молочнокислое брожение acid rain – кислотный дождь Acid attacks metals. Кислота разъедает металлы. I burned my skin with the Acid. Я обжегся кислотой. He juice of lemons yields citric Acid. Сок лимона содержит лимонную кислоту. Интересные факты […]...
2. Перевод слова canal Canal – канал Перевод слова Irrigation canals – оросительные каналы to dig a canal – прорыть канаву spinal canal – спинномозговой канал We walked along by the side of the Canal. Мы шли в сторону канала. The goods were transported by Canal to London. Товары перевозили по каналам в Лондон. In 1994 they transited the […]...
3. A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. […]...
4. Перевод слова fireworks Fireworks – фейерверк, салют, яркое зрелище Перевод слова The fireworks of autumn leaves – удивительное зрелище осенних листьев let off fireworks – устраивать фейерверк model fireworks law – типовой закон о фейерверках The two teams took a lap of honour together to the accompaniment of Fireworks. Две команды совершили круг почета, сопровождаемый фейерверком. I heard […]...
5. Arguing about the sign A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks […]...
6. Перевод слова battery Battery – батарея, аккумулятор Перевод слова Battery salvo – батарейный залп to charge a battery – заряжать аммумулятор quartz battery – кварцевая батарейка The Battery is dead. Батарея села. I bought new Batteries for the flashlights. Я купил новые батарейки для фонариков. The Battery is charging. Батарея сейчас заряжается. Примеры из жизни Надпись ‘battery charging’ […]...
7. Dealing with trouble A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than […]...
8. Перевод слова policeman Policeman – полицейский Перевод слова Duty policeman – дежурный полицейский military policeman – военный полицейский on-duty policeman – полицейский при исполнении служебных обязанностей plain-clothes policeman – переодетый полицейский The Policeman caught the thief. Полицейский задержал вора. The Policeman blew his whistle. Полицейский свистнул в свисток. The Policeman wore his badge proudly. Полицейский с гордостью носил […]...
9. At night court, a man was brought in and set At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”...
10. Now he’s in trouble A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, “what’s the problem officer?” To which the policeman responded, “I stopped you for running that red light behind you.” Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and […]...
11. An offense Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […]...
12. He is extremely drunk Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […]...
13. Значение идиомы charge something to something [charge something to something] {v.} 1. To place the blame on; make responsible for. John failed to win a prize, but he charged it to his lack of experience. The coach charged the loss of the game to the team’s disobeying his orders. 2. To buy something on the credit of. Mrs. Smith bought a […]...
14. Controlling your spouse There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your […]...
15. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
16. A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. “Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!” “Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes […]...
17. Dealing with an Apartment Super George: Did you call the Super about fixing the leaky faucet? Louise: I called him on Monday, but I haven’t Heard back yet. George: Well, call him again. This window is stuck and it won’t close. Louise: I’ll call him, but I think he’s avoiding our calls. George: He’s the worst super we’ve ever had. […]...
18. Dealing with Website Hackers Valerie: You’ll never guess what happened over the weekend. Bill: What? Valerie: Our website was attacked by Hackers, and nobody could Access it. Bill: You’re kidding! What did they do? Valerie: They got access to our Server and Embedded some Malicious code that caused the site to be redirected to their own website. Bill: But […]...
19. A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.” “Oh Dear!” the […]...
20. Netherlands Close Eight Prisons Due To Lack Of Criminals As prison populations surge in the UK, with overcrowded cells and repeat offenders, the opposite is happening in the Netherlands. The country is actually to close eight prisons because of a lack of criminals, the Dutch justice ministry has announced. Declining crime rates in the Netherlands mean that although the country has the capacity for […]...
21. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
22. Mr. Richman has 3daughters Mr. Richman has 3daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy. One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy when to the policeman and she said”Nobody and Somebody are fighting” Then the policeman look at her then he said “What are you talking about?” Then she said again “Nobody and […]...
23. If she went out with me A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his […]...
24. A guy was pulled over by a cop A guy was pulled over by a cop. The cop says to the guy you’re eyes are bloodshot have you been drinking. The guy says tothe cop you’re eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts Sent by paul...
25. Перевод слова dear Dear – дорогой, милый, дорогая, милая Перевод слова Dear mother – милая мамочка o dear! o god! – о боже! a dear little thing – прелестная вещица Be a Dear and make me a coffee. Будь душкой и сделай мне кофе. Can I help you, Dear? Я могу тебе помочь, дорогая? What’s your name, Dear? […]...
26. College bar joke When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the […]...
27. Checking Accounts and Writing Checks Marianne: I don’t understand it. I got a Notice from the bank that two of my checks Bounced. I’ve never had an Overdraft in my life. Jae: That doesn’t sound like you. You’re always so careful with your money. Marianne: I am! I don’t understand what happened. Jae: Let me take a look at your […]...
28. Protection of Environment in the UK Protection of environment is a major issue in Great Britain. Global warming, ozone layer problem, air and water pollution, industrial wastes are in the centre of different state and public actions. Great Britain maintains careful checks on use of dangerous chemicals and collects information about new ones. Acid rains that kill enormous amounts of fish […]...
29. And yet another college dorm joke I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a […]...
30. A judge asked a defendant to please stand A judge asked a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouted, “Lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!”, the judge shouted back to the man. He turned to the defendant and said, “You are also charged with killing a […]...
31. Перевод идиомы assault and battery, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: assault and battery Перевод: такое преступление, когда преступник нападает и избивает кого-либо Пример: The man was arrested for assault and battery after the fight. Мужчина был арестован по обвинению в нападении после драки....
32. A catholic lithany A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd—-no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. “A […]...
33. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the […]...
34. Dealing with a lawyer A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in […]...
35. The doctor had just completed his examination The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhaired beauty. “I would suggest to you, young lady,” began the medic, as he regained som of his professional dignity, “that you discontinue some of your running around. Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start […]...
36. A nun arrives at the local bar John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. “You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!” Now John […]...
37. A young girl is with her dad at the barbers A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor. “Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?” asked the barber. “Don’t be so stupid, I’m only three!!” said the girl!...
38. Burger conversations M. I. T.: “I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Caltech: “I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.” “Have some fries.” Brown: “I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.” “Cool! Me too! Have some fries.” Swarthmore: “I […]...
39. Перевод слова local Local – местный, локальный Перевод слова Local bus – местный автобус local call – местный звонок local dialect – местный диалект local jurisdiction – местная юрисдикция, внутренняя юрисдикция We had dinner at a Local restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. The shop sells Local crafts. Магазин торгует ремесленными изделиями местного производства. He writes for the […]...
40. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...