A woman selling apples in New York

Related topics:

1. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
2. The story of a very short manA man walks into a bar and says, «Bartender, give me two shots.» Bartender says, «You want them both now or one at a time?» The guy says,» Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,» and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his ... Читать далее...
3. An American woman and an Iranian womanAn American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, «These remind me of my husband’s testicles.» The American woman says, «That big?» The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.»...
4. A woman walks into a tattoo parlourA woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down ... Читать далее...
5. You could Feed them a lot FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would ... Читать далее...
6. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
7. The Real Johnny Appleseed Brought Apples-and Booze-to the American FrontierThe apples John Chapman brought to the frontier were very different than today’s apples-and they weren’t meant to be eaten. On n a family farm in Nova, Ohio, grows a very special apple tree; by some claims, the 175 year old tree is the last physical evidence of John Chapman, a prolific nurseryman who, throughout ... Читать далее...
8. The Zen Master is visiting New York CityThe Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, «Make me one with everything.» The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box ... Читать далее...
9. Counting carsA blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, «88, 88, 88…» The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past. «What are you doing?» «I’m counting cars,»comes the rely. «Want to help?» «Sure!» says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the ... Читать далее...
10. New York (2)New York is one of the largest cities in the world and the biggest seaport. It’s the financial capital of the country. It’s the business centre of the United States. The city is situated in New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson river. It’s population is over eight million. In early times the ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод идиомы apples and oranges, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: apples and oranges Перевод: совершенно разные вещи; небо и земля (часто используется при сравнении двух противоположных и совершенно непохожих вещей) Пример: It was like comparing apples and oranges when we compared our new boss to our old boss. Сравнивать нашего нового начальника и нашего старого начальника почти то же, что сравнивать небо и землю....
12. A woman visits her physicianA woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: «Well, what can I do for you madam?». The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: «You can discuss any matter with ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова quarterQuarter — четверть, квартал Перевод слова To draw and quarter — четвертовать, сурово наказать a quarter of an apple — четверть яблока a quarter past one — четверть второго several quarter s’ rent — квартплата за несколько кварталов The clock struck the Quarter. Часы пробили четверть. It’s a Quarter of seven (=6.45). Без четверти семь. ... Читать далее...
14. A woman walks into her accountant’s office andA woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, «Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.» He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, «What is your occupation?» The woman replies, «I’m a whore.» The accountant balks ... Читать далее...
15. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded womanA blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: «I don’t want to complain, but I think those ... Читать далее...
16. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and ... Читать далее...
17. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
18. Selling a BusinessAndy: I can’t believe you’re really Selling up. I thought you’d Stick it out for another year. Robin: Business has been slow for three years Running and I can’t Count on things To pick up anytime soon. I’m selling this business now before it’s completely Worthless. Andy: You should get a good price with all ... Читать далее...
19. Your hair smells niceA man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, «What’s wrong with the coworker ... Читать далее...
20. New YorkNew York is one of the largest cities in the world. Its population is over 11 million people. New York is an industrial and cultural centre of the country. Most business is centred in Manhattan Island. The whole area is very small, that’s why the sky-scrapers were invented in New York and, especially, in Wall ... Читать далее...
21. New York JokesNew York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова womanWoman — женщина Перевод слова A woman with history — женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight — необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman — привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman — смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She ... Читать далее...
23. The real treasureAn 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, «See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a ... Читать далее...
24. New York (3)New York has always been the gateway to the USA. But it is more than just a door; it is also a window through which the life of the whole nation may be observed. New York is a city of striking social contrasts. New York includes five boroughs: Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Richmond. ... Читать далее...
25. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, «Do you know what I’m ... Читать далее...
26. A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation centerA man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: «What are you doing here today?» Woman: «Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.» Man: «Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.» The woman looked thoughtful for ... Читать далее...
27. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselvesA man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, «I’m ... Читать далее...
28. New York — Нью-Йорк (2)New York is one of the largest cities in the world and the biggest seaport. It’s the financial capital of the country. It’s the business centre of the United States. The city is situated in New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson river. It’s population is over eight million. In early times the ... Читать далее...
29. Достопримечательности Нью-Йорка/ Places of Interest in New YorkНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Places of Interest in New York Достопримечательности Нью-Йорка New York is not the capital city of the Unites States of America. However, it’s the largest and the most famous city of the country. The city is situated on the east coast of the Atlantic Ocean and consists of ... Читать далее...
30. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
31. A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly womanA guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder…I’ll sleep with you.» Guy says: «An alligator?» Woman says: «Close enough»...
32. A tall woman met a midget at a partyA tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. «I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,» said the woman, «especially with the size ... Читать далее...
33. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
34. One night, an 87-year-old womanOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to ... Читать далее...
35. There was a man and woman traveling along in their carThere was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says «Did you know you were speeding back there.» The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband «What did he say, what did ... Читать далее...
36. The woman’s secretAt a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. «No woman,» said one man, scornfully, «can keep a secret.» «I don’t know about that,» huffily answered a woman guest. «I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.» «You’ll let it out some day,» the ... Читать далее...
37. Two men and one womanLong, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 ... Читать далее...
38. An old man and an old woman were sittingAn old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,»You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.» The woman said, «Why don’t we try that again?» So they stripped and sat down at the table again. ... Читать далее...
39. A New York boy was being led through the swampsA New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. «Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?» The cousin smirked and replied, «Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight.»...
40. A man and a woman are sitting next to each otherA man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. «My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,» she said. «What a coincidence! My wife just left me,» said the man, «she ... Читать далее...