Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ A panda bear walks into a restaurant

A panda bear walks into a restaurant

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it.
After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.»

The panda says, «Look it up in the dictionary,» and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading ‘Panda’. It reads:
‘Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.’



Образование в беларуси тема по английскому.
Studying abroad education is an.

Related topics:

  1. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
  2. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
  3. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
  4. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is toldA man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre’d that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. «Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?», he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, «What’ll it be?» The man replies, «Give me a Stoli with ... Читать далее...
  5. A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurantA stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: «Sir! Please stop that immediately.» «Certainly, madame,» replies the waiter with a bow, ... Читать далее...
  6. Cops: Would-be robbers nabbed after restaurant owner says ‘come back’, and they doTwo men made it easy for authorities to catch them after they tried to hold up a West Rogers Park restaurant using a squirt gun but were told by the owner to return in an hour, officials said. When Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went back to the restaurant on the 6400 block ... Читать далее...
  7. Catching the bearTwo men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran ... Читать далее...
  8. A dog walks into a butcher shopA dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter ... Читать далее...
  9. Dining at a Restaurant II (Fast)I love coming to this Italian restaurant. The appetizers and desserts are To die for. When the waiter came to our table To take our order, my friend ordered a lobster ravioli dish, and I ordered my favorite, lasagna. The waiter then asked us, «Would you like a Soup or salad with that?» My friend ... Читать далее...
  10. Bill and Hillary are at a restaurantBill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,» Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?» he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,» Hillary replies....
  11. Spain JokesSpanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. «These, senor,» replied the waiter in broken English, «are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today.» The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the ... Читать далее...
  12. Значение идиомы grin and bear it[grin and bear it] {v. phr.}, {informal} To be as cheerful aspossible in pain or trouble; do something without complaining. Thedoctor told Mrs. Howard that she had to stop eating sweets if shewanted to lose weight, and she tried to grin and bear it. If youmust have a tooth drilled, all you can do is ... Читать далее...
  13. A manager of a restaurant had called its ownerA manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. «She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,» said the manager. «All right, so hire her,» the owner replied.»But, sir…» «I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong ... Читать далее...
  14. A Problem with a Restaurant CheckI waved my hand To get the waiter’s attention. Waiter: Yes? Leslie: The Check, please. Waiter: Would you like any Dessert, or some tea or coffee? Leslie: No, just the check. Thanks. Waiter: Here you are. I’ll Ring that up for you when you’re ready. Leslie: Thank you. Oh, there seems to be a Mistake ... Читать далее...
  15. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open tableA man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, «Do all the waiters ... Читать далее...
  16. A man walks into a bar and orders two drinksA man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time the bartender asks him what’s going on. «Why are you pouring that drink on your hand»? ... Читать далее...
  17. Baby bear wants to live somewhere elseThe three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of ... Читать далее...
  18. Pet ownersThere’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, ‘Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.’ The guy with the Chihuahua says, ‘We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.’ The guy ... Читать далее...
  19. Перевод слова bearBear — медведь; нести, переносить Перевод слова Bear sport — шумная, грубая игра to play the bear — вести себя как медведь to bear a banner — нести знамя I can’t Bear him. Я его не выношу. He couldn’t Bear the humiliation. Он не мог пережить этого унижения. What a Bear! Что за медведь! Ну ... Читать далее...
  20. Expresso and a syringeThis guy goes into a restaurant. He’s a little more than strung out from lack of sleep. The waiter asked for his order. Trying to be funny he asked the waiter for a hit of his best heroin. Struggling to keep a straight face. The waiter says,»I’m sorry sir, we’re all out». «In that case ... Читать далее...
  21. Discovering too late that aDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. «Quick, man,» he whispered to the waiter, «what did they say?» «Nothing,» replied the waiter. «They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.»...
  22. A waitress walks up to one of her tables inA waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She yells, «What the hell do you guys think you are doing?» One of the Japanese men explains, «Can’t you see? We are all berry hungry.» The waitress ... Читать далее...
  23. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into townVentriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? ... Читать далее...
  24. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinnerTwo nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies «Oh Sister, those are nuts.» She answers «Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?» «No. The kind you rock on a crack.»...
  25. Перевод слова restaurantRestaurant — ресторан Перевод слова Buffet restaurant — ресторанчик, работающий по системе «шведский стол» decent restaurant — приличный ресторан to dine at a restaurant — обедать в ресторане We had dinner at a local Restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. That Restaurant was a real find! Тот ресторан был настоящей находкой! The Restaurant opened earlier ... Читать далее...
  26. Значение идиомы bear with[bear with] {v.}, {formal} To have patience with; not get angry with. Your little sister is sick. Try to bear with her when she cries. It is hard to bear with criticism. Syn.: PUT UP WITH. Compare: CARRY ONE’S CROSS....
  27. Значение идиомы all walks of life[all walks of life] {n. phr.} All socioeconomic groups; all professions and lines of work. A good teacher has to be able to communicate with students from all walks of life. A clever politician doesn’t alienate people from any walk of life....
  28. Значение идиомы bear in the air[bear in the air] or [bear in the sky] {n. phr.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band jargon} A police helicopter flying overhead watching for speeders. Slow down, good buddy, there’s a bear in the air....
  29. ‘Kung Fu Panda’ Hits A Sore Spot in ChinaWhy a Quintessentially Chinese Movie Was Made in Hollywood BEIJING — The blockbuster success of an American animated movie that’s set in ancient China, highlights Chinese culture, mythology and architecture and stars a kung fu fighting panda has filmmakers and ordinary Chinese wondering: Why wasn’t this hit made. . . in China? «Kung Fu Panda» ... Читать далее...
  30. Dining at a Restaurant I (Fast)Well, I love going out to restaurants to eat. One of the best experiences I’ve had recently was at a place here in Los Angeles called Il Fornaio. It’s an Italian restaurant in a very nice part of Beverly Hills. I don’t go there very often-I can’t really afford it, but every once in a ... Читать далее...
  31. A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dogA blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head. The druggist says «May I help you?» The blind man replies «No thank you, I’m just looking around.»...
  32. A man walks into a doctor officeA man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. «What’s the matter with me?» he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, «You’re not eating properly.»...
  33. A small mixupA florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town. The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read: SINCEREST SYMPATHIES. The florist realized that he must have mixed up two orders and shuddered to think of the ... Читать далее...
  34. The Microsoft waiterPatron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it ... Читать далее...
  35. Значение идиомы bear up[bear up] {v.} 1. To hold up; carry; support; encourage. The old bridge can hardly bear up its own weight any more. He was born up by love of country. 2. To keep up one’s courage or strength; last. — Often used with «under». This boat will bear up under hurricane winds. She bore up ... Читать далее...
  36. A midget walks into the doctors and saysA midget walks into the doctors and says, «Doc, I’ve got these fucking itchy balls and I can’t do anything to stop ’em itching». The Doc says, «I can see the problem and I’ll fix it for ya» So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. ... Читать далее...
  37. Значение идиомы loaded for bear[loaded for bear] {adj. phr.}, {slang} Ready for action; preparedand eager. Frank liked the new merchandise and as he set out on hisrounds as a salesman, he felt really loaded for bear. The footballteam arrived Friday noon, loaded for bear....
  38. A little boy walks up to his father and saysA little boy walks up to his father and says, «Dad, what does a pussy look like?» Father responds, «well son, before or after sex?» Son, «Well, before?» Father, «picture a tulip with all the petals son.» Son, «well what about after?» Father, «Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!»...
  39. Значение идиомы bear watching[bear watching] {v. phr.} 1. To be worth watching or paying attention to; have a promising future. That young ball player will bear watching. 2. To be dangerous or untrustworthy. Those tires look badly worn; they will bear watching. Compare: KEEP AN EYE ON....
  40. A man walks into a pubThe following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, «cor! I’ve just had my first blow-job and it was great! — I’ll have a large whiskey please, barman.» The man takes his whiskey and downs it. «Same again?» asks the barman. «Okay» ... Читать далее...

A panda bear walks into a restaurant